Why the Focus in Your Relationship Should Be on YOU

It’s no secret that relationships are hard, but it is often easy to point out the flaws in a relationship that is not your own. That’s because it is no simple task to reflect on your own thoughts and actions. However, this is an essential step in maintaining healthy relationships, because you are ultimately the most important person in your relationship. While it is important to consider what your partner needs and wants, it is also integral to avoid focusing solely on your partner when you think about your relationship. Here are some strategies that will let you put the focus back on yourself to avoid taking on an unfavorable role within your partnership.

Accept who your partner is.

Many people try to change things about their partners, rather than accepting and embracing their quirks. Often, this behavior is actually a projection of one’s own insecurities rather than a distaste for a partner.

Take responsibility for your actions.

During an argument, it can be tempting to pin the blame entirely on another person. In reality, there is usually a shared responsibility for a disagreement, so you should acknowledge your role. When you claim your own actions, you can create a path to move forward instead of living with resentment for your significant other.

Recognize and express your needs.

advertising hipster — I need you to listen to me!!!

Focusing on yourself is not just about recognizing negative qualities. You should take a close look at your personal needs and express these to your partner so that you are getting what you want out of your relationship. With clear expectations for both yourself and your significant other, you can seriously boost the satisfaction of your partnership.

September 21, 2016 0

Why Your Relationship Isn’t As Good As it Used to Be (the 4th one is BIG)

What the fuck are you thinking? We have all had that moment in our relationship, a time or two, that makes you wonder why your relationship isn’t as good as it used to be. But I am starting to believe that men are simple and they forget about the four F’s.

FAMILY

FOOD

FINANCES

FUCKING

Not necessarily in that order…

Okay, I contend that the same effing things hold true for women. Depending on which F is the most significant determines what things we are willing to compromise on and when. I admit in my secret heart of hearts that I may or may not always place FAMILY at the top. In my defense, the way that I think — if I’m good with the other three F’s, then my family will be taken care of and my house will be in order.

Family

Family first and Family over everything, right? Well, sometimes. You want to make sure that you aren’t in a relationship with a momma’s boy or someone who has an already made family that they are extremely attached to. Where would that leave you? Find out in the early stages of dating where this person stands when it comes to their romantic life and whether or not they are able to include you.

Finances

Have you heard the phrase, “no romance without finance”? Well nowadays, that’s even more applicable. It’s all about the money, honey. Don’t let anyone tell you that cash isn’t king. You need money for everything. Bills need to be paid, and every so often, you should enjoy a date night with your partner. Now for all of the hopeless romantics out there, fuhgettabout living off of love. I simply cannot function well if my money is not right.

Food

Feed my soul and my body. The old adage is true,– the way to a (wo)man’s heart is through the stomach. I need enough to fuel my body. But the food you present to me must look good, smell great, and taste amazing. Quite simply, I am not happy if my hunger isn’t satisfied. Don’t even think about trying to order some dollar menu meal and think it’s okay. Who wants to fuck while your belly growls from hunger?

Fornication

I cannot think straight if I am not regularly loved. The human body is perfectly designed for pleasure as it is equipped with many erogenous zones for sensual arousal. Not to mention the fact that, when performed vigorously, sexual activity burns calories and releases happy, happy endorphins that we all need to get through this thing called life.

In essence, when it comes to the four F’s, men and women are pretty much the same creatures with different stripes. Embrace your own needs, so you can embrace your partner’s as well.

September 7, 2016 2

CEO Confessions (or Discovering Details About Your Boss You Didn’t Know You Were Interested In)

I’m sitting in my favorite coffee shop not too far from work. I am really trying to get my work done when I see my boss’ boss come in. I look back down at my laptop, because – well, I am supposed to be working. And then it happened. Here she comes to my table, pulls out the chair and starts talking. But I wasn’t expecting the following conversation…

I’m bored. I’m over 40 (closer to 50 truth be told). I’m horny all the time. Not what you expected hunh?

Me: No, not at all. (wonders who can I immediately call and place on mute so they can hear what I am hearing? I turn on the recorder instead).

Some people think it’s all the erotica that I read. Maybe. I like to think I’m just a healthy woman with a healthy appetite for life.

Me: stuffing my muffin in my mouth so I don’t say anything that would stop her from talking, thinking – YOU READ EROTICA? You seem so boring. So VANILLA)

I like good food. I can appreciate an attractive person regardless of sex. I am not into hardcore BDSM, but after reading so much of it I do get it. I truly believe that whatever works for you in private, should be just that, private. I do not need to hear about your wild monkey sex if I’m not getting any. That said.

Sometimes I really want wild monkey sex…

Being vanilla and being bored is overrated. Just like when you were a kid and your imagination was your best friend that kept you occupied and out of your parents’ way, use your imagination with your partner. You don’t have to hang from the chandeliers, you just have to agree on just a little something-something every once in a while. As long as you both agree and are comfortable, your intimacy levels can increase exponentially. It’s not actually about the wild monkey sex anyway, it’s about the connection between the two (three?) of you and what you do to sustain it over the life of the relationship.

That was my WTF moment and I could not have been in a better time at a better place.

August 17, 2016 0

Cum Again? These Sex Toys are Made for Women but are Better for Men

While sex toys are often synonymous with female pleasure, there is plenty of fun to be had by men looking to spice things up during solo play or amidst intimate moments with a partner. In fact, it can be easy to add a little adventure to your love life with provocative pleasure products that your partner already uses herself. Here are some universal favorites that women already love and men may find quite appealing as well.

Mini Massagers

Bullet or mini-egg vibrators are often a great place to start for men who do not have much experience with provocative products. With a non-intimidating size, these powerful vibrators can be an amazing addition to foreplay or intercourse with mind-blowing prostate stimulation.

Magic Wand Vibrator

Magic wand style vibrators are not the most compact in size, but they are incredibly versatile for any type of intimacy. You might start out with some deep tissue massage to relieve soreness and tension for more uninhibited bedroom activities, or you can get creative and explore more sensitive areas. Just remember to start out with a low setting to get the feel for things before unleashing the power of these toys.

Hello Touch Stimulator

The Hello Touch is a unique stimulating toy that utilizes small finger pads to enhance your own touch. From self-stimulation to partners’ massage sessions to anal and testicular stimulation, the Hello Touch can provide any man with an unforgettable pleasure experience. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you might add a blindfold to the mix as your partner explores all the most sensitive parts of your body.

July 20, 2016 0

Great Sex Comes With Age. Older couples becoming more adventurous in the bedroom.

Ok, I get it, humans are designed to get horny. Only now as an official, bonafide adult do I get it. In my naivete, I used to believe that sex was only for the young twenty-somethings.

Years ago, my grandmother had a friend whose boyfriend was closer to my then 20 something years, than her 60 some odd years. I didn’t get it. I couldn’t let my brain accept the fact that this “old lady” was really allowing herself to indulge in consensual sex. I asked my grandmother, what was that all about, was he just with her for her social security check? My grandmother’s response was a shocking, Yes, and she likes when he eats her jello. Her WHAAATTT? In my younger years, I could not imagine “old” people would still be interested in making love, having sex, whatever you want to call it. Let alone with other old people. Then I realized that I knew a lot of dirty old men. A lot. Somebody is having sex with them. Lots of somebody’s.

//giphy.com/embed/dXn1C13xyU3qE

Older people having sex is not so uncommon. According to a recent Cosmopolitan article, studies conducted by sex researchers at the University of Guelph and the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIECCAN), agree that your sex life does get better as you age. Thank the mighty stars! Because now as I coast through my forties, I find myself to be horny. More like super horny.

Sometimes I’m so horny I can’t think. Then I get angry. Because the person I’m with doesn’t have the same sex drive. Frustrating.

If you found that the older you have become, the more your desire for sex increases, let us know!

June 28, 2016 0

Love Wins! Again, and Again, And Again. Be Proud to Love

Rainbow Flag Heart Hand

Love, like rain, does not choose the grass on which it falls.

In honor of the historic June 26, 2015, ruling to make Marriage Equality a reality for every American, we celebrate the LGBTQ community with love, again, and again, and again.

In a loving spirit, YouTube released a tear-jerking video with their #ProudToLove video compilation complete with proposals, coming out stories, and a lot of tensions released.

Be prepared to get misty eyed as you watch this bold and joyful collection of clips that embrace and support the LGBTQ community.

June 26, 2016 0

How to Talk Dirty to Your Partner (Even if you don’t know how)

//giphy.com/embed/XUPdpzRPoK2v6

In the movie, Trainwreck, Amy Schumer’s character is having sex with the very sexy John Cena. Amy wants her lover to talk dirty to her to help her get more in the mood.

Unfortunately, what happens to a lot of people, he doesn’t know what to say, so he starts rambling off things off the top of his head that are sexy to him (men really are wired differently). But that isn’t what his lover wants to hear. I’ve been there a time or two myself.

Whenever I found myself having to train a new partner in the art of making me feel satisfied, I discovered that I had to be very specific in instructions. His perception of sexy, dirty talk wasn’t always what my ears and brain needed.

Talking Dirty with Your Partner, Even if You Don’t Know How

Dirty talk can be a valuable tool in the bedroom, but many people shy away from being vocal in the act or expressing desires before things heat up physically. If you have always avoided talking dirty as part of your foreplay routine, you might find that you’ve been missing out on some great opportunities to build intimacy with your partner and become in tune with your own fantasies. With a trusted partner, you might feel comfortable beginning to indulge in dirty talk, which can take some getting used to, but has the potential for some serious benefits.

Unlock the benefits of dirty talk.

It’s been said many times that the brain is the largest erogenous zone in the body, and this is true for a number of reasons. Chemical impulses in the brain drive the biological desire to have sex, but there is much more to arousal than hormone production. When you bring dirty talk into the mix, you can amplify your partner’s and your own arousal by triggering more parts of the brain as you become intimate. This creates a stronger mind-body connection that can heighten the sense of closeness and pleasure you feel. For women, dirty talk might be particularly helpful in building heat before getting physical, because women take much longer to become aroused than men do. While in the act, talking dirty can give your partner more accurate feedback of what he or she is doing right, and this will further increase your fun.

Explore your fantasies.

Dirty talk can be a pleasant surprise for your partner, particularly when you divulge some of your previously unspoken fantasies. In fact, the easiest way to get started when talking dirty is by simply expressing how you want to touch and be touched by your partner. If you are on the shy side, sending a naughty text or leaving a sexy note might do the trick in getting your partner started with the dirty talk in person.

young woman using a smartphone in bed — Send a naughty text message if you’re on the shy side

Regardless of how you plan your approach, you might find that a few naughty sentiments are just what you need to bring new pleasure products and intimacy enhancers into your relationship.

Embrace the awkward moments.

It can be difficult to find just the right words to say to your partner—especially in the heat of the moment.

advertising hipster — Repeat after me, and say exactly what I tell you

As a result, there may be some less than flattering moments when you land on a phrase that just doesn’t sound as good as it did in your head. Learning to find the humor in the awkwardness can actually build a stronger bond with your partner and help you feel more comfortable while exploring some of your more hidden desires.

As you discover the pleasure that communicating with dirty talk can bring, let Embracedesires.com bring your fantasies to your front door with discreet packaging on our full line of pleasure products and intimate accessories. Browse our website for a complete look at our collections of couple’s toys, gifts, and bath and body products.

June 15, 2016 1

Dreams Do Come True! Women are Becoming More Climactic as They Age

We’ve experienced it, and you probably have too. It’s late at night and you fall asleep. You’re human, it’s ok to doze off. But you wake up in such a euphoric state as if you just had THE BEST SEX EVER! Did you just have SEX in YOUR SLEEP? Yes, in a sense, you did.

giphy (3)

But there is no one there with you and no signs of a break-in. However, the blissful and euphoric state that you are in cannot be denied. It happened. I had an orgasm in my sleep and now I have questions, like:

How many times did it happen?

Did I just get fucked by a ghost?

Will this generous sexual apparition return to bestow repeated orgasms upon me in my sleep once more?

giphy (5)

I have no recollection of any dreams from that night, it was actually like I was dream free. But the feeling is so real. I wonder why I felt like I had orgasms in my sleep. Well, thanks to science.mic (don’t you just love when science can explain things), there is a reason why so many women like myself orgasm in their sleep.

Sweet Dreams, Ladies: Why So Many Women Orgasm While They Sleep

We’re all familiar with the adolescent concern of nocturnal emissions that growing men will experience, but few people recognize that women will experience orgasms in their sleep as well.

With women, however, sleep orgasms tend to become more common with age, and they are a source of pleasure rather than the cause of embarrassment. According to The Kinsey Report, about 37% of women will have a sleeping orgasm before the age of 45, and there are a few different reasons that this is such a common phenomenon: giphy (4)

Women grow more comfortable with their bodies as they get older. Women tend to
have growing sexual desires as they become more familiar with their tastes and
preferences. Asleep or awake, women will usually experience higher orgasm rates as they get older, simply because they become more interested in and comfortable with sex.
Sex dreams provide great material. Sex dreams can be somewhat elusive as no one is exactly sure what causes them to occur. One theory is that sex dreams are more likely to occur in women who are in a positive state of mind or in good health.

giphy (2)

Regardless of where they come from, sex dreams can provide excellent inspiration to reach the height of your pleasure while you slumber. Women are naturally better able to achieve mental orgasms than men, so dreaming about that sexy new coworker or a shirtless Ryan
Gosling could be enough for you to hit the mark. Once you start having sleep orgasms,
they are more likely to return, since achieving orgasms gets easier for women with age
and experience.

Isn’t that another good reason to look forward to getting older?

Do You Know How Good You Feel? (to Yourself)?

May is Masturbation Month

Masturbating Is Good for Your Health!

Did you know that every sexually active being has masturbated, but few people ever take the time to talk about it? Today we’re changing that with an honest discussion about masturbation, which, as it turns out, is actually quite good for you. Masturbation is not exclusive to one gender, and it’s not even unique to humans. Throughout the animal kingdom, masturbation is embraced and accepted, so isn’t it time that you remove the guilt and recognize just how great it can be to play with yourself? Aside from the obvious benefits that masturbation has to offer, there are many health benefits that you might not be aware of.

Improve Your Sleep – It’s no secret that masturbation feels good. What you may not realize is that the endorphins and neurochemicals released when reaching the height of your pleasure will promote relaxation, relieve pain, and help you sleep better.
Heighten Your Pleasure – Masturbation is particularly beneficial for women because women who masturbate tend to have fewer inhibitions in expressing what they enjoy when they are with their partners. Men who regularly participate in hand to gland combat will generally last longer in the bedroom, increasing their own pleasure as well as their partners’.
Prevent Infections – Studies have indicated that ejaculating more than five times weekly will help to clear disease-causing toxins in the urogenital tract, which are a factor in prostate cancer risk. Overall, masturbation tends to be an immune booster, because it promotes the release of hormones that help keep the body healthy.

During Masturbation Month this May, don’t be afraid to explore what gets you off as you start to enjoy some of the added perks of self-stimulation. If you don’t want to go at it alone, invite your partner to watch to make things that much more interesting.

Blog at WordPress.com.