I’m sitting in my favorite coffee shop not too far from work. I am really trying to get my work done when I see my boss’ boss come in.  I look back down at my laptop, because – well, I am supposed to be working.  And then it happened.  Here she comes to my table, pulls out the chair and starts talking. But I wasn’t expecting the following conversation…


I’m bored. I’m over 40 (closer to 50 truth be told).  I’m horny all the time.  Not what you expected hunh?

Me: No, not at all.  (wonders who can I immediately call and place on mute so they can hear what I am hearing? I turn on the recorder instead).

Some people think it’s all the erotica that I read.  Maybe. I like to think I’m just a healthy woman with a healthy appetite for life.

Me: stuffing my muffin in my mouth so I don’t say anything that would stop her from talking, thinking – YOU READ EROTICA?  You seem so boring.  So VANILLA)

I like good food.  I can appreciate an attractive person regardless of sex.  I am not into hardcore BDSM, but after reading so much of it I do get it.  I truly believe that whatever works for you in private, should be just that, private.  I do not need to hear about your wild monkey sex if I’m not getting any.  That said.

Sometimes I really want wild monkey sex…

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Being vanilla and being bored is overrated.  Just like when you were a kid and your imagination was your best friend that kept you occupied and out of your parents’ way, use your imagination with your partner.  You don’t have to hang from the chandeliers, you just have to agree on just a little something-something every once in a while. As long as you both agree and are comfortable, your intimacy levels can increase exponentially.  It’s not actually about the wild monkey sex anyway, it’s about the connection between the two (three?) of you and what you do to sustain it over the life of the relationship.

That was my WTF moment and I could not have been in a better time at a better place.