You woke up this morning and realized….it’s over.  There’s no going back. You are no longer half of a couple, you are now single.

ending relationships
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Single.. in a world of couples.   While it may seem like the end of the world,  IT.  IS. NOT. THE. END. OF. THE. WORLD.

But how would anyone know how to move on after the relationship is over?

First don’t play the blame game. It wasn’t either one’s fault. You simply weren’t meant to be each others ‘forever’ person.  It doesn’t’ matter if one was faithful and the other wasn’t, if one was abusive or abused (and abuse occurs whenever a person is made to feel less than of human by another person), or if the relationship stopped ‘feeling’  like a relationship.  The simple truth is.. IT’S OVER.

What do you do now?  Accept the fact that you haven’t YET met your soulmate. Work on improving YOU so you will be ready when you do meet your ‘forever” person.

Secondly, do not speak negatively to anyone about your ex.

Third, do not wallow in self pity and hurt.

Fourth, do not play the coulda, woulda, shoulda game. There is NOTHING you ‘coulda’ done, ‘woulda’ done or ‘shoulda’ done that would have changed the ultimate demise of the relationship.   Most importantly, do not play any games at all. That only hurts and stagnates your emotional and mental growth.

Lastly, do not hold onto every last memento you ever received from your ex.  Getting rid of some things helps in the healing process. It is a process where you alone determine the length of the process and its success.

You see, the power is in you to change and grow beyond the raw emotion you feel now.

Avoid emotional suicide; you need time to recover from this temporary situation. Do NOT under any circumstances, jump into another relationship right away!  Resist the desire to replace your partner with another until you are emotionally prepared.

Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

So what do you do? You set a goal for yourself.

YOUR goal is growth – a deeper more powerful positive growth mentally, physically and emotionally.

♥ Take an honest, objective 20/20 hindsight look at the relationship, recognize the good parts of it and if necessary take notes on a legal pad. Embrace the wonderfully cathartic release of emotions this can be.

♥ Think kindly of your ex and all that was brought into the relationship by her/him. These are traits that are dominant in your future soulmate. Learn to appreciate those qualities. But don’t romanticize your ex. After all if it was that good, your ex wouldn’t be your ex right?

♥ Take a deep breath and realize that it is okay to be single. Recognize that you really need the time to recharge your emotional batteries as well as readjust your focus on life. This way you can better equip yourself for your beautiful future.

♥ Work on improving YOU in order for your soulmate to recognize you.

♥ Make changes in your lifestyle.

  • Paint your living space or add some accent fixtures.
  • Take a yoga class, go to a gym, modify your wardrobe (you’ve heard of ‘dress for success’, now all you need to do is ‘dress the way you want to be addressed’)
  • Educate your palate by taking wine and cooking classes
  • Learn a foreign language
  • Audit some college courses or go back to college and get your degree
  • Try something strange and different for yourself.

It’s never too late to make you a better you.  And you deserve it, you wonderful person you.

Share with us ways that you were able to move on after your relationship was over

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