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Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

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Relationship

Think Being in a Long-Term Relationship is Easy? (Ahem, some of your women want you dead – but only temporarily)

Yes.  We know.

Every year, it happens.  Without fail I want to bring in the new year with someone to love, who loves me back with the same fervor, who am I kidding, I want someone who loves me more than I love them.

When you are in a committed relationship, things don’t always play out the way you imagined it should in your head.

You get comfortable.  Very comfortable.  I am talking about wearing grungy clothes comfy.  That isn’t always a bad thing, but sometimes you have to get dressed and remind your significant other WHY they were interested in you in the first place.

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Every year when it’s time to ring in the new beginning, I am the one to fall asleep.  How can you celebrate the concept of new beginnings when you are doing the same thing over and over?  It isn’t an easy task.  We should want to celebrate a new love interest, even if that love interest has been in your life longer than your favorite shoes.

It’s time to regain the love.  I want to fall in love with my partner and myself again.Loving couple outside

I find myself asking these questions: “How did we fall in love the first place?”  “How and did we actually fall out of love?”

In this New Year, I am taking control.  It’s time to stop the internal arguments and really listen to my significant other. I am renewing my vow to take time out to appreciate their point of view, even if it is one that I don’t agree with.

Life is too short. Will I really be better of without them? Or do I just need some time to be alone and reflect – I read somewhere that every once in a while, certain personality types really need to unplug and be alone.  Sometimes, (brace yourselves because this might sound morbid) when things get really intense between my dear partner, I plan funerals, widow crying at funeralI am talking about complete services including who will sing and what will I wear.  I even plan out my new life.  And the thought being without this person hits – HARD.  I imagine how lonely I would be. I know the heartache would be unbearable.   Feeling that I alienated myself, intentionally just for a moment of solitude just seems self- serving. Then I stop to make myself remember why I decided to be with this incredible person who has been with me and all of my crazy and realize that I really am better with them, than without.

It’s a new year.  Time to try something new to embrace all that is waiting in 2017.

How do you handle your long-term relationship?  Do you feel like you are stuck sometimes, but still love your partner?

Let us know in the comments.

 

Why the Focus in Your Relationship Should Be on YOU

It’s no secret that relationships are hard, but it is often easy to point out the flaws in a relationship that is not your own. That’s because it is no simple task to reflect on your own thoughts and actions. However, this is an essential step in maintaining healthy relationships, because you are ultimately the most important person in your relationship. While it is important to consider what your partner needs and wants, it is also integral to avoid focusing solely on your partner when you think about your relationship. Here are some strategies that will let you put the focus back on yourself to avoid taking on an unfavorable role within your partnership.

 Accept who your partner is.

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Many people try to change things about their partners, rather than accepting and embracing their quirks. Often, this behavior is actually a projection of one’s own insecurities rather than a distaste for a partner.

 Take responsibility for your actions.

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During an argument, it can be tempting to pin the blame entirely on another person. In reality, there is usually a shared responsibility for a disagreement, so you should acknowledge your role. When you claim your own actions, you can create a path to move forward instead of living with resentment for your significant other.

 Recognize and express your needs.

advertising hipster
I need you to listen to me!!!

Focusing on yourself is not just about recognizing negative qualities. You should take a close look at your personal needs and express these to your partner so that you are getting what you want out of your relationship. With clear expectations for both yourself and your significant other, you can seriously boost the satisfaction of your partnership.

 

Why Your Relationship Isn’t As Good As it Used to Be (the 4th one is BIG)

What the fuck are you thinking?  We have all had that moment in our relationship, a time or two, that makes you wonder why your relationship isn’t as good as it used to be. But I am starting to believe that men are simple and they forget about the four F’s.

FAMILY

FOOD

FINANCES

FUCKING

Not necessarily in that order…

Okay, I contend that the same effing things hold true for women.  Depending on which F is the most significant determines what things we are willing to compromise on and when.  I admit in my secret heart of hearts that I may or may not always place FAMILY at the top.  In my defense, the way that I think — if I’m good with the other three F’s, then my family will be taken care of and my house will be in order.

Family 

Family first and Family over everything, right? Well, sometimes.  You want to make sure that you aren’t in a relationship with a momma’s boy or someone who has an already made family that they are extremely attached to.  Where would that leave you?  Find out in the early stages of dating where this person stands when it comes to their romantic life and whether or not they are able to include you.

Finances  

Have you heard the phrase, “no romance without finance”? Well nowadays, that’s even more applicable.  It’s all about the money, honey.  Don’t let anyone tell you that cash isn’t king.  You need money for everything.  Bills need to be paid, and every so often, you should enjoy a date night with your partner.  Now for all of the hopeless romantics out there, fuhgettabout living off of love.  I simply cannot function well if my money is not right.

Food

Feed my soul and my body.  The old adage is true,– the way to a (wo)man’s heart is through the stomach. I need enough to fuel my body.  But the food you present to me must look good, smell great, and taste amazing.  Quite simply, I am not happy if my hunger isn’t satisfied. Don’t even think about trying to order some dollar menu meal and think it’s okay.  Who wants to fuck while your belly growls from hunger?

Fornication

I cannot think straight if I am not regularly loved.  The human body is perfectly designed for pleasure as it is equipped with many erogenous zones for sensual arousal. Not to mention the fact that, when performed vigorously, sexual activity burns calories and releases happy, happy endorphins that we all need to get through this thing called life.

In essence, when it comes to the four F’s, men and women are pretty much the same creatures with different stripes. Embrace your own needs, so you can embrace your partner’s as well.

 

Cum Again? These Sex Toys are Made for Women but are Better for Men

While sex toys are often synonymous with female pleasure, there is plenty of fun to be had by men looking to spice things up during solo play or amidst intimate moments with a partner. In fact, it can be easy to add a little adventure to your love life with provocative pleasure products that your partner already uses herself. Here are some universal favorites that women already love and men may find quite appealing as well.

 

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Bullet or mini-egg vibrators are often a great place to start for men who do not have much experience with provocative products. With a non-intimidating size, these powerful vibrators can be an amazing addition to foreplay or intercourse with mind-blowing prostate stimulation.

 

Magic Wand Vibrator93231-Hitachi Magic Wand RC with cord 2-1200x1200

Magic wand style vibrators are not the most compact in size, but they are incredibly versatile for any type of intimacy. You might start out with some deep tissue massage to relieve soreness and tension for more uninhibited bedroom activities, or you can get creative and explore more sensitive areas. Just remember to start out with a low setting to get the feel for things before unleashing the power of these toys.

 

Hello Touch StimulatorHello Touch X Body E-stim-1200x1200 vibrating sex toys embrace desires

The Hello Touch is a unique stimulating toy that utilizes small finger pads to enhance your own touch. From self-stimulation to partners’ massage sessions to anal and testicular stimulation, the Hello Touch can provide any man with an unforgettable pleasure experience. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you might add a blindfold to the mix as your partner explores all the most sensitive parts of your body.

Great Sex Comes With Age. Older couples becoming more adventurous in the bedroom.

Ok, I get it, humans are designed to get horny.  Only now as an official, bonafide adult do I get it.  In my naivete, I used to believe that sex was only for the young twenty-somethings.

Years ago, my grandmother had a friend whose boyfriend was closer to my then 20 something years, than her 60 some odd years.  I didn’t get it. I couldn’t let my brain accept the fact that this “old lady” was really allowing herself to indulge in consensual sex. I asked my grandmother, what was that all about, was he just with her for her social security check?  My grandmother’s response was a shocking, Yes, and she likes when he eats her jello.  Her WHAAATTT?  In my younger years, I could not imagine “old” people would still be interested in making love, having sex, whatever you want to call it.  Let alone with other old people.  Then I realized that I knew a lot of dirty old men.  A lot.  Somebody is having sex with them.  Lots of somebody’s.

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via GIPHY

Older people having sex is not so uncommon. According to a recent  Cosmopolitan article, studies conducted by sex researchers at the University of Guelph and the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIECCAN), agree that your sex life does get better as you age.  Thank the mighty stars!  Because now as I coast through my forties, I find myself to be horny.  More like super horny.

Sometimes I’m so horny I can’t think. Then I get angry. Because the person I’m with doesn’t have the same sex drive. Frustrating.

Great Sex Comes with Age.

If you found that the older you have become, the more your desire for sex increases, let us know!

Love Wins! Again, and Again, And Again. Be Proud to Love

Love, like rain, does not choose the grass on which it falls.

In honor of the historic June 26, 2015, ruling to make Marriage Equality a reality for every American, we celebrate the LGBTQ community with love, again, and again, and again.

In a loving spirit, YouTube released a tear-jerking video with their #ProudToLove video compilation complete with proposals, coming out stories, and a lot of tensions released.

Be prepared to get misty eyed as you watch this bold and joyful collection of clips that embrace and support the LGBTQ community.

How to Talk Dirty to Your Partner (Even if you don’t know how)

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In the movie, Trainwreck, Amy Schumer’s character is having sex with the very sexy John Cena.  Amy wants her lover to talk dirty to her to help her get more in the mood.

Unfortunately, what happens to a lot of people, he doesn’t know what to say, so he starts rambling off things off the top of his head that are sexy to him (men really are wired differently).  But that isn’t what his lover wants to hear.  I’ve been there a time or two myself.

Whenever I found myself having to train a new partner in the art of making me feel satisfied, I discovered that I had to be very specific in instructions.  His perception of sexy, dirty talk wasn’t always what my ears and brain needed.

Talking Dirty with Your Partner, Even if You Don’t Know How

 Beautiful young girl in kimono hiding behind the red curtains in the interior near window. Sexy shy lady.Dirty talk can be a valuable tool in the bedroom, but many people shy away from being vocal in the act or expressing desires before things heat up physically. If you have always avoided talking dirty as part of your foreplay routine, you might find that you’ve been missing out on some great opportunities to build intimacy with your partner and become in tune with your own fantasies.  With a trusted partner, you might feel comfortable beginning to indulge in dirty talk, which can take some getting used to, but has the potential for some serious benefits.

 

 

Unlock the benefits of dirty talk.

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It’s been said many times that the brain is the largest erogenous zone in the body, and this is true for a number of reasons. Chemical impulses in the brain drive the biological desire to have sex, but there is much more to arousal than hormone production. When you bring dirty talk into the mix, you can amplify your partner’s and your own arousal by triggering more parts of the brain as you become intimate. This creates a stronger mind-body connection that can heighten the sense of closeness and pleasure you feel. For women, dirty talk might be particularly helpful in building heat before getting physical, because women take much longer to become aroused than men do. While in the act, talking dirty can give your partner more accurate feedback of what he or she is doing right, and this will further increase your fun.

 

Explore your fantasies.

Dirty talk can be a pleasant surprise for your partner, particularly when you divulge some of your previously unspoken fantasies. In fact, the easiest way to get started when talking dirty is by simply expressing how you want to touch and be touched by your partner. If you are on the shy side, sending a naughty text or leaving a sexy note might do the trick in getting your partner started with the dirty talk in person.

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Send a naughty text message if you’re on the shy side

Regardless of how you plan your approach, you might find that a few naughty sentiments are just what you need to bring new pleasure products and intimacy enhancers into your relationship.

 

Embrace the awkward moments.

It can be difficult to find just the right words to say to your partner—especially in the heat of the moment.

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Repeat after me, and say exactly what I tell you

As a result, there may be some less than flattering moments when you land on a phrase that just doesn’t sound as good as it did in your head. Learning to find the humor in the awkwardness can actually build a stronger bond with your partner and help you feel more comfortable while exploring some of your more hidden desires.

 

As you discover the pleasure that communicating with dirty talk can bring, let Embracedesires.com bring your fantasies to your front door with discreet packaging on our full line of pleasure products and intimate accessories. Browse our website for a complete look at our collections of couple’s toys, gifts, and bath and body products.

Want to Be a Better Lover? Get Rid of Bedroom Clutter in 4 Easy Steps

With most couples sex is a very important part of the relationship, as well as where the sex takes place. Many people like to be adventurous and try new things and new places. That was great before careers, cameras, and kids came into the picture.   Now, in our adult reality, we all know the most intercourse between couples takes place in the bedroom. So get ready to be a better lover, because we are about to help you get rid of the clutter!
Your bedroom should be an inviting playroom for sex.

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image courtesy of AdobeStock
When you look at your bedroom what do you see? Exercise equipment that has turned into a coat rack? Children’s toy’s and other clutter that is preventing you from being the best lover .
What about that brand new flat screen tv?  While all of these things may seem like creature comforts, they are actually mental distractions to what could be amazing, mind blowing sex!
The wonderful design experts at IBB Design Fine Furnishings have some great tips to start a bedroom makeover.
If clothes make the man, then his living space should also be indicative of who he is as well. If you’ve ever visited a potential lover’s house, only to discover that the place is a mess, guess what…Big Turn Off!  Dirty dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, or worse, critters — roaches, rodents, even the occasional filthy roommate is a big no no.
Your(potential) lover could be the sexiest man alive (Hi Idris Elba), but if that living space is a wreck, you’ve just ruined your chance at intimacy.
There really is something sexy about visiting someone’s home for the first time in anticipation of getting laid.
But, your partner can’t relax in a messy place.

A few tips to tidy up your place to make sure you are the best lover possible.

  1. Fumigate –  If you know that those crawling, disgustingly unwelcome guests (we’re not talking about your roommate) in your house always make an appearance when you are trying to get lucky, and if time time permits, call an exterminator – or just  do it yourself
  2. Dust – Believe it or not, dust collects EVERY day.  Dust the baseboards, TV’s, counters and your dresser.  it will make a huge difference.
  3. Organize – Put away all of your clothes.  If they don’t fit in your closetor dresser where the doors/drawers can close, invest in storage containers to fit your adult lifestlye.
  4. Aromatics – We are visual creatures, yes, but there is nothing more stimulating to the senses than the olfactory delight of a sophisticated and seductive scent to tantalize and entice your lover. Light a candle and set the mood.  Inhale the sensual bouquet and watch the mesmerizing flicker of the flame as your guest warms up to you even more.

We want to hear from you!  Tell us in the comments how you make your room attractive to a potential lover.

Open Up – When you need to get something off your chest, but your BF is the judge-y type

relationship advice column, embrace desires
Share Your Thoughts – Open Up with Embracedesires.com

I am opening up because I need an answer. Where are the good men?  I meet a potential mate, but then somewhere, early on, things don’t seem to work.  Help me figure this one out.

Q:  I keep falling for the same type of guy? I’m educated, I have a great career, but I still find myself with the same type of man who loves me, then leaves me.  I have a college degree, am established in my career and I know what I want in a man.  A man who is educated, single, no drama, earns more than I do, and knows how to pamper a woman. What is wrong with me? Am I asking for too much?

A:  Man! oh man, are we all too familiar with THIS scenario.  First off, the good men ARE out there.  It’s how you present yourself initially that determines how you will be treated. You sometimes have to fall back in your interactions with men.  Men don’t always want an independent woman who not only knows that she is independent, but embraces her independence.  What would he be needed for if a woman touts her accomplishments but doesn’t allow the man to lead, in the traditional sense. If all you want is attention, you don’t need a man, you need a pet.

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