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Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

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Advice

Think Being in a Long-Term Relationship is Easy? (Ahem, some of your women want you dead – but only temporarily)

Yes.  We know.

Every year, it happens.  Without fail I want to bring in the new year with someone to love, who loves me back with the same fervor, who am I kidding, I want someone who loves me more than I love them.

When you are in a committed relationship, things don’t always play out the way you imagined it should in your head.

You get comfortable.  Very comfortable.  I am talking about wearing grungy clothes comfy.  That isn’t always a bad thing, but sometimes you have to get dressed and remind your significant other WHY they were interested in you in the first place.

giphy-14

Every year when it’s time to ring in the new beginning, I am the one to fall asleep.  How can you celebrate the concept of new beginnings when you are doing the same thing over and over?  It isn’t an easy task.  We should want to celebrate a new love interest, even if that love interest has been in your life longer than your favorite shoes.

It’s time to regain the love.  I want to fall in love with my partner and myself again.Loving couple outside

I find myself asking these questions: “How did we fall in love the first place?”  “How and did we actually fall out of love?”

In this New Year, I am taking control.  It’s time to stop the internal arguments and really listen to my significant other. I am renewing my vow to take time out to appreciate their point of view, even if it is one that I don’t agree with.

Life is too short. Will I really be better of without them? Or do I just need some time to be alone and reflect – I read somewhere that every once in a while, certain personality types really need to unplug and be alone.  Sometimes, (brace yourselves because this might sound morbid) when things get really intense between my dear partner, I plan funerals, widow crying at funeralI am talking about complete services including who will sing and what will I wear.  I even plan out my new life.  And the thought being without this person hits – HARD.  I imagine how lonely I would be. I know the heartache would be unbearable.   Feeling that I alienated myself, intentionally just for a moment of solitude just seems self- serving. Then I stop to make myself remember why I decided to be with this incredible person who has been with me and all of my crazy and realize that I really am better with them, than without.

It’s a new year.  Time to try something new to embrace all that is waiting in 2017.

How do you handle your long-term relationship?  Do you feel like you are stuck sometimes, but still love your partner?

Let us know in the comments.

 

Open Up – Who are you calling a FREAK? Sometimes, you need to set the record straight

relationship advice column, embrace desires
Share Your Thoughts – Open Up with Embracedesires.com

I wanted to get this off of my chest.  Why aren’t people truly comfortable with their sexuality?

In hushed whispers, and secret online groups, people will discuss how much of a “freak” they are, yet don’t own any sex toys.  Not to say that owning sex toys (or a sex toy company) automatically makes you a “freak” it just shows that you are open to alternative sexual adventures.  I love sex toys and all of the sensual accessories that compliment them, but I don’t consider myself to be a “freak”. That term really puts my panties in a bunch.  I’m sexually explorative.  As long as it doesn’t involve children, animals or illegal acts, I’ll try it at least once.  And very proud of that fact.  I have embraced my desire to explore sexually stimulating and pleasure enhancing activities.  Shit, I’m grown. Or so, I am told.

But when I meet someone new and they discover the products that I have in my stash, all of a sudden, I’m a freak.  Get over it already.  Thanks to the internet, most people I know that are sexually active do far more exploring than I have ever done.  Ever.  And then there are those who haven’t done a third of what I’ve done.

I have discovered that some cultures embrace the natural progression from innocence to knowledge when it comes to sexual experiences, whereas others simply do not.

I recall reading this Awesome book filled with many Great stories and one of the stories told was of this Man who said “let he who is without sin, cast the first stone” and surprisingly no stone was tossed.  Let this be a lesson.

Open Up – When you need to get something off your chest, but your BF is the judge-y type

relationship advice column, embrace desires
Share Your Thoughts – Open Up with Embracedesires.com

I am opening up because I need an answer. Where are the good men?  I meet a potential mate, but then somewhere, early on, things don’t seem to work.  Help me figure this one out.

Q:  I keep falling for the same type of guy? I’m educated, I have a great career, but I still find myself with the same type of man who loves me, then leaves me.  I have a college degree, am established in my career and I know what I want in a man.  A man who is educated, single, no drama, earns more than I do, and knows how to pamper a woman. What is wrong with me? Am I asking for too much?

A:  Man! oh man, are we all too familiar with THIS scenario.  First off, the good men ARE out there.  It’s how you present yourself initially that determines how you will be treated. You sometimes have to fall back in your interactions with men.  Men don’t always want an independent woman who not only knows that she is independent, but embraces her independence.  What would he be needed for if a woman touts her accomplishments but doesn’t allow the man to lead, in the traditional sense. If all you want is attention, you don’t need a man, you need a pet.

Did You Know – What is in Ejaculate?

You are what you eat.  At least that is what has been hammered in our brains since the food pyramid became popular.  But the good news is that the healthy foods your body takes in, eventually come out.  But not in a way you may think.

proteins in ejaculate

Both male and female ejaculate contains carbs, amino acids, and proteins.  When the ejaculate fluid dries, it will dry yellowish depending on the amount of protein in the secretion.  The higher the protein found in the secretions of the ejaculate, the more yellow it will dry

Did You Know? You are washing your panties the wrong way

“Pleasing is the fragrance of your fruit”

Is there anything more intoxicating than the heady scent coming from a woman?  I dare say no.  Ok, usually not.  But in order to enjoy that perfume that spreads from our legs to tickle the senses, we must be clean.  Not just cleaning our ladybits, but also the panties we wear.

When washing our undies, we should use a mild, unscented detergent that is free of perfumes and dyes.  Think baby detergent.  It’s gentle enough not to irritate a baby’s new, and delicate skin, so it will be gentle enough on our most intimate areas.

  • After washing your undies, use the extra rinse cycle on your machine if available.
  • Avoid using fabric dryer sheets – they leave residue on the fabric and when it come in contact with your delicate areas, it can rub off and cause skin irritation.  (If you want your panties to smell like a garden or some other heavenly body, use potpourri or drawer sachets instead).

Has the Passion Fizzled in Your Relationship? Don’t Let it Happen to You. Put the SIZZLE Back TONIGHT!

Pleasure Your Mate Month

When it comes to satisfying your mate, their pleasure should be your #1 priority. No need to wait for February to display love and affection on Valentine’s day when you automatically get more days in September.  Celebrate Pleasure Your Mate Month in September, for more time to bump and grind.

We, at embracedesires.com want to make sure that you have what you need to give your mate as much pleasure as they can enjoy, not just for a month, but all year round.

New Positions

sex positions Bronzed reverse cowgirl embracedesiresMissionary style sex positions have been performed since you first lost your virginity; at least that is true for us. Break away from ordinary vanilla sex: Try a new position to reignite passion. Embrace the sensual creature that is within you. It is easy to add mystery and intrigue into your bedroom romp. Get some position inspiration from Cosmo’s 28 Mind-Blowing Lesbian Sex Positions, or simply climb on top of your lover, and just as he gazes into your beautiful eyes thinking that he will be entering you while you eyes are locked on each other, turn your body facing away from him giving him a full and wondrous view of all of that junk in your trunk – yes, show off your Badonk! He’ll enjoy a handful of your booty as you ride him Reverse Cowgirl style. Yee Haw!

Talk That Talk

SextingTechnology has made it challenging to engage in stimulating conversations. Use the advancements that are already at your fingertips. Send a flirty text, “I’m thinking of you..guess what I’m doing” or for a more dirty text, send the following, “I need to fuck you“, to your partner.  If time and opportunity allows, Face Time your mate, Android users will have to go for video chat, in the nude and let them watch you fondle yourself or perform a strip tease.  Don’t have the time to chat?  Send them a sultry picture message, don’t worry about prying eyes, there are plenty of apps that can delete your picture and message after it’s sent.

Different Locations

The bedroom is usually the most convenient location to make love. You wake up horny, roll over and jump on your partner.  Change the ambiance if the bedroom is your only option. Do something out of the ordinary. Pleasure your partner with the lights on if the lights are usually off. Notice the sweat dripping from your partner’s skin. ooh, yes…You did that! How’s that for arousal?

Be Aware of Your Surroundings

When you are ready and able to try different locations for your sexual encounters, release your inhibitions and accept your adventurous self (be mindful of any local indecency laws in your area). Try this: Go out for a nice evening –sans panties of course, seize the opportunity for a quick scandalous tryst in a public bathroom, outside, alongside a building, on an empty train car, or a park.Be adventurous

If you are more of an indoors type of lover, ride your mate once you park your car in the garage, or other safe location. But hurry before the parking attendant comes checking on you. If you have a garage attached to your home, you are in luck, because you can just get it in your own garage.

When you finally make it home, you can engage in coitus UN-interruptus right there on the stairs. If you live in an apartment building, you have the heightened adrenaline rush of your neighbors walking up or down the stairs and getting a glimpse of you mid stroke.

Car

Damn those comfy bucket seats that cradles you oh so nicely! They are not the most sex friendly, we know. No one likes having the gearshift pressing so hard against their flesh that it leaves you numb, or your ass honking the horn when it gets sooo good. So it’s climbing into the backseat you two go. (That’s why pick-up trucks were really made).

Because Toys, ARE Us!

“Love has no limits (but it does have a safe word)”.

Sensual restraintsForget sending roses to turn on your partner. Surprise your loved one with a set of sexy restraints made from luxurious sensual silk. The decadent feel of soft, smooth fabric against her skin as you bind her hands is intoxicating. Make your lover your sex slave, even if it is only for the night. Remember your safe word. Once you have your partner tied up, reach for a powerful, yet quiet vibrator and stimulate her clitoris, varying the intensity. Ladies, you can blindfold you man and slip a comfortable ring on his (no, not his finger) already stiffening manhood and enjoy his cockiness.

Pleasuring your partner made easy, by embracedesires.com 😉

Open Up – Advice

relationship advice column, embrace desires
Share Your Thoughts – Open Up with Embracedesires.com

So we’ve been asked this question by more than one person and realized that it needed an answer.  While we are not psychiatrists, nor are we psychologists, we do have a bit of experience in relationships.

You can always open up with us.

Q: I’m a woman in her mid twenties and was asked by this guy that I just started seeing (we haven’t even had sex yet but he had the nerve to ask)  how many sexual partners have I had. I thought that was an inappropriate and invasive question and I stop talking to him. Am I  overreacting? I don’t think that is any of his business.

A:  In this day and age of increasing cases of H.I.V., and other STI’s on the rise, it is important to have the discussion of previous partners and past sexual activity.  That being said, disclosure of past exposures or contractions of STI’s should be a conversation to have with any potential partner before you become intimate.  It is the responsible thing to do.

Tell us what you think this woman should do.  Is she being immature for cutting this guy off?

Keeping Your Kitty Clean – Lessons your mother forget to tell you.

Most mothers teach their little girls how to clean their lady bits.  Always wipe from front to back. Some lessons, she probably forgot to tell you because she didn’t know herself.

Besides simply wiping from front to back after using the bathroom, there are other equally important things a woman must do to keep her kitty clean?

  • Keep those body scrubs, soaps, and feminine washes away from the vajajay.  Yes, they may smell amazing, but the chemicals used in producing them actually promote yeast infections and other skin irritations.  Who wants to make monthly visits to the gyn, because of soap irritation when you can avoid the cause of the problem yourself?
  • If you feel the need to clean your self-cleaning poonanny, be gentle with her.  Never use regular soap inside of your vagina.  Use a gentle, low pH soap like Basis, Pears, Cetaphil, or SebaMed for the inner labia.  Allow your p-ssy, to smell like a p-ssy. Treat her right, and you will reap the benefits.
  • When in the shower cleaning that good good, use your freshly washed bare hands as washcloths may contain dust or other germs from the air.  Better yet, use a handheld shower head.  You will not only hit your sweet spot during your alone time in the shower, but you can use the force of the water to clean out your most intimate area.
  • When you’re all done, pat yourself dry – don’t rub your skin with the towel.
  • tip: *Use a blow dryer on cool to dry off.

6 Tips for Great Anal Sex – Rear Door Entry Lovemaking

anal sex, rear door entry, couples pleasureYou’ve heard the girls whispering about it. Anal sex. It’s true, every day people are engaging in and enjoying anal sex. You wonder what is soooo good about anal sex that is driving people to incredible depths of ecstasy. Rear entry love is supposed to be taboo and it’s supposed to hurt, right? Wrong!

First things first when it comes to having great anal sex. Relax; the anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that feel amazing when stimulated by a tongue, finger, penis, or toy. Before engaging in anal sex, you should be completely prepared – mentally and physically. Foreplay before anal sex is not only fun, but downright necessary.

Before you engage in anal sex or any sexual activity, there are a few basic rules.

Cleanliness is next to, well you know the rest.

You want your sexual encounters to be memorable. You remember what the person had on and you remember their scent. Ever have someone walk by and their enticing scent made you want to be closer to them? Some people have a naturally appealing smell. But there is nothing worse than having someone near you, let alone on top of you smelling horrific!

 LUBRICATION – Lube Me or Leave Me Alone

We cannot stress this enough.  Use plenty of lube.  Unlike the vagina and the mouth, the anus does not provide its own lubrication.  We recommend using a silicone based lube.  Silicone lasts longer than water based lubes and does not dry out or get yucky.  If you are using a latex safe condom, even though it says “lubricated”, for the purpose of anal sex, the lube on the condom isn’t enough, so always add more.

Love Me Long Time. Please.

Before you and your partner get started, foreplay is crucial when it comes to anal sex. Play with your anus.  It’s a great idea to get to know your body and find out what feels good to you ahead of time. Insert a well lubricated object (just make sure there are no jagged edges ie fingernails, damaged toys) inside of you or have your partner massage the rim of your anus.  When you are both ready to take your sex-ploration further, consider safe anilingus activity (oral sex of the anus – or simply put RIMMING) with your partner. Use a dental dam when performing this sexual act or you can cut open a condom and place it over the opening of the anus to protect yourself from bacteria normally found in the anus.

STOP! In The Name of All That is Great!!!

The prospect of having anal sex is as exciting for the giver as well as the receiver.  Make sure your partner proceeds with caution! When you are ready, your anus will relax to let you know when the time is right. When that time comes, your partner should slowly insert a toy, finger, or their penis inside of you.  A penis, even a toy, is a large object to insert inside of an anus, so be patient.  It may seem like it is taking forever to completely enter you, but the rewards are well worth it.  After you are relaxed from wonderful anal foreplay, allow your partner to enter you partially giving your body time to adjust to the size and fit.  Breathe slowly until you are relaxed and you feel yourself opening up more.  When you do open more, allow your partner to go deeper.  Adding additional lubrication if necessary. If you need a break, have your partner withdraw partially, then attempt re-entry going deeper with each stroke.

It Seems Like You’re Ready

If at any time during anal sex, you feel extreme pain or discomfort, STOP.  That is your body telling you that you are at risk for damage.  Let your partner know that you need a break.  Take some time, and when you are ready, add more lube and go for it.  embracedesires.com does not endorse desensitizing products for anal sex.

Now that you have the basic tips for great anal sex, experiment with different sex positions.

We aren’t alone in our excitement of anal sex. The people at Kinkly.com have something to say about great anal sex positions. We’ve shared a couple of our favorite and amazing sex positions with you.

Missionary

You get to look into your lovers eyes while they prepare to enter to enter you from the back, except you are watching their facial expressions. That’s HOT! Relax. Rub on your clit for an incredible experience. In the missionary positions, your back gets curved, making it easier to enter the rectum as it straightens out.

Face Down, A$$ Up!

Ah yes, the classic doggy style position for anal sex. Not only does he get an amazing view of you spread open with his manhood entering you, but in this position, the G-Spot gets an extra treat as it is easier to hit and he gets to go deeper. Yasss, honey!


Most importantly, be safe, be creative any time you are engaging in any sexual act. Make love fun. Incorporating lube and toys can be a fun and sensual accessory to your ana lovemaking experience.

Indulge your passions. Embrace your desires.

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