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Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

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Advice

5 Tips for Taking Better Selfies

1.    Skip the Smiling Faces – Show off Your Shoes!

When you see a selfie of someone, do you also wonder about their footwear? We do. We see so many great looking selfies of people who obviously put a lot of thought into their poses, but we often wonder about the next great accessory – their shoes. Think of the times you saw someone with an amazing outfit and realized that the shoes made the outfit? It happens all of the time. We put so much thought into purchasing our shoes and selecting the perfect pair to go along with our outfits, that it is only right to feature them.

2.    Accents Make Photos Look Like They Should.

When you are trying to eliminate the appearance of a double chin, extend your chin forward to accentuate your jaw line. You can also remove the double chin in your photos by taking a photo with the camera raised slightly above your head and looking UP at about a 45 degree angle – this will further accentuate your jaw line.

3.    Take a Better Selfie in 3 – 2 – 1!

 Most recent smart phones already have a built in timer in its settings. Set the timer on your camera phone (or regular camera) and practice to see how long it takes you to get the perfect pose and Pose for the camera – SNAP!

4.    Lights, Camera, Action!

 The lighting for your selfie is what will set your photos apart from the crowd, if done properly.

INDOORS: When you are taking selfie pictures indoors, go for natural lighting. Find a window and stand with the sunlight falling onto   your face – not behind you. Also, when you are taking selfies inside, make sure that you are standing in front of a plain background. This could be a wall, or a plain sheet, large enough to cover the area behind you. Invest in a large white poster board, the kind used for science projects or use your car’s sun visor to reflect the light. (Just make sure that it has a silver or white surface).

OUTDOORS: Find a shaded area. If the sun is too bright, you will be squinting which is not attractive at all.

5.    Have Fun!

After all, you are capturing memories of you enjoying life and sharing moments with friends and loved ones. So relax, indulge in the festivities and take all the selfies you want. Just remember, no duck lips.

Tell us what you do to take great selfies

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HOW TO MOVE ON AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER

You woke up this morning and realized….it’s over.  There’s no going back. You are no longer half of a couple, you are now single.

ending relationships
image courtesy of understandmenow.com

Single.. in a world of couples.   While it may seem like the end of the world,  IT.  IS. NOT. THE. END. OF. THE. WORLD.

But how would anyone know how to move on after the relationship is over?

First don’t play the blame game. It wasn’t either one’s fault. You simply weren’t meant to be each others ‘forever’ person.  It doesn’t’ matter if one was faithful and the other wasn’t, if one was abusive or abused (and abuse occurs whenever a person is made to feel less than of human by another person), or if the relationship stopped ‘feeling’  like a relationship.  The simple truth is.. IT’S OVER.

What do you do now?  Accept the fact that you haven’t YET met your soulmate. Work on improving YOU so you will be ready when you do meet your ‘forever” person.

Secondly, do not speak negatively to anyone about your ex.

Third, do not wallow in self pity and hurt.

Fourth, do not play the coulda, woulda, shoulda game. There is NOTHING you ‘coulda’ done, ‘woulda’ done or ‘shoulda’ done that would have changed the ultimate demise of the relationship.   Most importantly, do not play any games at all. That only hurts and stagnates your emotional and mental growth.

Lastly, do not hold onto every last memento you ever received from your ex.  Getting rid of some things helps in the healing process. It is a process where you alone determine the length of the process and its success.

You see, the power is in you to change and grow beyond the raw emotion you feel now.

Avoid emotional suicide; you need time to recover from this temporary situation. Do NOT under any circumstances, jump into another relationship right away!  Resist the desire to replace your partner with another until you are emotionally prepared.

Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

So what do you do? You set a goal for yourself.

YOUR goal is growth – a deeper more powerful positive growth mentally, physically and emotionally.

♥ Take an honest, objective 20/20 hindsight look at the relationship, recognize the good parts of it and if necessary take notes on a legal pad. Embrace the wonderfully cathartic release of emotions this can be.

♥ Think kindly of your ex and all that was brought into the relationship by her/him. These are traits that are dominant in your future soulmate. Learn to appreciate those qualities. But don’t romanticize your ex. After all if it was that good, your ex wouldn’t be your ex right?

♥ Take a deep breath and realize that it is okay to be single. Recognize that you really need the time to recharge your emotional batteries as well as readjust your focus on life. This way you can better equip yourself for your beautiful future.

♥ Work on improving YOU in order for your soulmate to recognize you.

♥ Make changes in your lifestyle.

  • Paint your living space or add some accent fixtures.
  • Take a yoga class, go to a gym, modify your wardrobe (you’ve heard of ‘dress for success’, now all you need to do is ‘dress the way you want to be addressed’)
  • Educate your palate by taking wine and cooking classes
  • Learn a foreign language
  • Audit some college courses or go back to college and get your degree
  • Try something strange and different for yourself.

It’s never too late to make you a better you.  And you deserve it, you wonderful person you.

Share with us ways that you were able to move on after your relationship was over

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Sex Buddy Coming Over? Shut the Front Door – Just make sure it is unlocked!

She doesn’t really like him that much. To be truthful, when they were together as an exclusive couple during their college years, they were incompatible, to say the least.

The rekindling of their “relationship” quickly turned them into becoming sex buddies.  It was the typical “I will call you when I want sex from you”.  It has worked for them many years after their exclusive relationship ended.

He wasn’t all that bad.  He did have one remarkable thing about him.  He knew how to go down on her, and he was great at it.  There’s nothing wrong with just wanting a man because he can eat good pussy is it? Her thoughts are, men keep women around for similar reasons so why shouldn’t she be able to as well.  Anyway, they’ve known each other a long time, four years to be exact and even though they hardly speak on the phone, they manage to remain friendly towards one another.

Their sex buddy agreement was she gets to decide when, how, where, and how, he was simply there for her pleasure.

Earlier in the week, they agreed to meet, she was horny and he was in willing. He missed her taste.  Her curves.  He missed her scent. Suffice it to say that he anticipated her visit as much as she anticipated his.  She took her hot bubble bath to get the seductive scent she knew turned him on, to soak into her skin, swallowed her Sweeten69 secretion sweetener pills so her juices taste sweeter,

(after all, he was coming for a meal) had a couple glasses of wine to mellow out, (the thought of looking at him required her to be a bit less than sober) the red vines were firmly in place (a sexy trick she picked up) and for once was on time and headed out of the door.

Once inside of the car, she called and told him that she was on her way and an approximate time that she expected to be there.

All of the traffic lights were green (a good sign from the Universe, she thought), made it to his house in record time AND found parking close to their designated meeting.

She gets out, of the car, takes extra care in how she struts to the door – he always enjoyed watching her breasts jiggle when she walked besides, you never know who is watching – there could be a potential suitor looking, then discovers…. The fucking door is Locked!!!!

After all the time that you have been waiting and wanting her, get her to agree to come over and you leave the door locked?

Since when does he lock the damn door?!?!?  The door has never been locked for any of their other meetups.  Why now?  Do you expect her to stand out there ringing the bell like some desperate teenager?  This is a grown ass Woman!  What does she do?

No worries.

She does what any woman would do.

She left. She turned around, with her head held high, walked confidently back to her car and drove off.

He gets upset and says she was wrong.  Was she?

Selfies for your Pussy Cat. Get it Picture Perfect and Performance Ready

Selfies!  Those wonderful pictures you take of yourself to show just how good you look.  You take special care in your outward appearance and how well you are posed and groomed.  When you take selfies of your pussyCat, you want to take extra care to make sure your kitty is picture perfect and looks to be performance ready.

Your vagina is probably the most important part of a woman’s body to seduce a partner.  It sends out pheromones, naturally occurring chemicals excreted from our bodies, to attract a mate. The trick is once we get the object of our desire, we must make sure it not only looks good enough to eat but is in picture perfect shape!

Groom
Keep your pubic hairs soft to the touch. While in the shower, apply some hair conditioner to your hairs to get your hair touchably soft.

Trim the wild hairs , cut it low or go completely bare with a professional wax. We like a combination.
Not even a cat likes hair balls, so ladies make sure you tame any wild, stray hairs with any of the following methods:

  • You can shave (OUCH!) which will usually last a few days but then you have to deal with the unbearable feeling when those stubbly hairs grow back
  • Use a depilatory cream (pee eww) which lasts a bit longer, usually a couple of weeks and doesn’t come with as much of an annoyance when the hair grows back
  • Opt for a professional wax (OWWWW!!!!) which can last from a month to six to eight weeks and the hair grows in finer each time you wax. Either choice you make will come with some type of hair regrowth sacrifice.

Cleanse
Be performance ready with a gentle cleanser, NOT soap (soap is too drying). Clean the outside of your lips (labia majora), not the inside (labia minora) (introducing any cleansing product to the inside of your lips especially soap will cause an unbalance in the natural healthy bacteria in your vagina – no one wants that!)

Eat
Include fresh fruits, vegetables and fiber to your diet. It will naturally eliminate waste from your body, giving your pretty kitty a delectable flavor and scent. (recommended flavor and scent enhancers to include into your diet: Mint, parsley, kiwi, pineapple, blueberry, cucumbers and strawberry).

Drink
Drink water and PLENTY OF IT! Water not only is great for flushing out your system, but in doing so, it eliminates toxins from your skin, keeping it beautiful and supple.

Moisturize
We all like to slather on our favorite body lotion, but it is not recommended for use near your genitalia. Instead, use natural moisturizers like Shea butter or organic coconut oil to massage into your outer lips and between your thighs.

Go on and grab a mirror and see how pretty your kitty cat looks!  Be Proud!  So show off your picture perfect and performance ready pussy cat.

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Not Your Rx’s Performance Enhancers

You’ve met someone new. You’ve talked, maybe even gone out. The chemistry is there and this person’s sexual energy definitely has you interested.

You get together for your first sexual encounter and… Hmm, the performance wasn’t that great and you excuse it, thinking maybe it’s nerves, first time jitters.

The conversations between you two continue and your partner describes how they’ll make such passionate love to you that you willingly allow a second chance.

Again, they disappoint you. Maybe they weren’t feeling well and possibly tired. Whatever the case may be, each time the sex just doesn’t live up to your standards. You continue seeing the person, perhaps they fill a different void, but how do you improve their performance with you?

If their poor performance is not related to size, but rather a technique issue, then you are in luck. If your partner is blessed with the perfect length and girth for you, but they just can’t seem to maneuver themselves, and you want to stay with them, try these tips.
Include role play
Act out what you want done as if you are someone else. Your partners feelings won’t get damaged when you pretend.
Extend foreplay
Include sex toys like penis extenders, bullets, dildos, etc.  Watch a porno movie together and point out the actors performance as something you want done to you. (hopefully, your partner is receptive to making these necessary changes, otherwise you will just need to throw in the towel and find someone else.)
Do the work yourself.  You can’t send a boy to do a man’s job. If you want it done right, do it yourself.  Put on your big girl seductive look, pull your dildo out and pleasure yourself.  Or just get on top of him and ride him like a cowgirl!

All in all, people are visual creatures and they’re very hands on, so teach by doing and showing. Place your hand over his and guide him in the ways you liked to be handled. Give him a little vocal encouragement by throwing in some of these: ”Ooh I like how THAT feels” or ”I like it better when you do it like THIS” and if he is willing to pleasure you, he’ll make sure to follow your instructions.

Remember, everyone’s body is different and reacts differently to certain things. Different strokes for different folks, if you catch my drift. Give him time to learn yours. He can’t read minds and your body doesn’t come with a manual. After all, communication is key in every aspect of a relationship, sex included.

No Commitment. No Confusion. Jump Off Rules to Live By

Rules for the jumpoff

People are having more and more sex. According to a recent Trojan condoms survey, the average American is having sex 151 times this year, compared to 120 times last year. With so many people having so much sex, somebody is definitely a jump off.

What is a jump off?

A jump off is a person whose sole purpose is to bring sexual gratification to another person with little effort and little money spent. A jump off is usually a woman, sometimes a man who only sees their “partner” when the partner expresses interest.

How do you know you are a jumpoff?
You don’t have sex with this person regularly. You rarely go out on any dates. You appear at their house or other designated places to have sex at when they are horny. You arrive at odd hours and leave before the neighbors know of your presence.

Were you asked to send any naked pictures of yourself? (you were already considered jump off material).

Consider under what circumstances you two met. Was there drinking? Was it an online meeting, or in a club or bar? and think of how you two ended up in bed. Did this person offer to take you out? (movies don’t count, all you do is sit in the dark and feel each other while the movie is playing – an indication of the fucking that comes later) did anyone Buy you dinner at a real restaurant?

You are told that the person you are jumping off with is single. New flash: Most people are technically single. If they are not married, then they are legally SINGLE. You should ask if there is anyone else in the picture that they are fucking or somehow involved with. Don’t make assumptions that being single means they are alone. What do you think they were doing before you came along?

Once you realize or even suspect that you are a jump off, here are some rules to follow if you want to continue this sexual relationship.

  • Never beg/ask to be kept. If your sex partner tells you out of the blue that they can’t see you, accept that you were a jump off and move on. Asking if there is something you can do to make them stay is worthless unless you can turn yourself into the person they really want to be with.
  •  If you are fucking Multiple other people… Let the other person know.
  • Honesty doesn’t apply to you, the jump off. You are not entitled to anything but the occasional fuck. You will be told any story so you can be fucked and tossed.
  • Accept the occasional calls/texts during normal business hours. Be grateful if you get any outside of that and when that communication stops, chances are your jump off status is done.
  • Social media is great, but don’t go posting ‘woe is me’ status updates on Facebook and Twitter about how you are hurt over being dumped. Just move on to the next. Lesson learned.
  • Never leave any personal items.
  • Keep it to yourself unless you’re promoting a threesome with an even better looking person.
  • There can’t be any babies, so stay on birth control.
  • Do not plan on staying over two hours (cleanup time included).
  • Do not try to tongue kiss.
  • If you two should ever meet in public while with another, ignore them as if you don’t know them, unless they come to you first.

If you are not interested in being someone’s jump off, simply take your time and get to know a person. Follow a rule of five.  Five Real DATES to see where this persons thinking head is at.  If they are only interested in having sex with you, they won’t make it through the rule of five.  If sex is the one thing that attracted you to this person, and you have sex with them soon after the two of you meet, chances are likely that you will be the jump off.

There you have it, in plain english. Theses are the rules– no exceptions– so know your role and play your part.

Tattoo Your Taboo – Being Freak-y is Fabulous

Why aren’t people really comfortable with their sexuality?
In hushed whispers, people will discuss how much of a “freak” they are, but don’t own any sex toys. Not to say that owning sex toys (or a sex toy company) automatically makes you a “freak”, it just shows that you are open to alternative sexual experiences. I love sex toys and all of the sensual accessories that compliment them, but I don’t consider myself to be a “freak”. That term really puts my panties in a bunch. When I was growing up, the only reference to freaks were either in the circus or other sideshow anomaly. I’m no circus performer, nor do I swallow deadly stainless steel swords. (Swallowing other large objects… well, that is another story).  I’m a lover of erotic pleasures. I’m sexually explorative, and very proud of it.  I have embraced my desire to explore sexually stimulating and pleasure enhancing activities. Shit, I’m grown. At least my age says that I am.

The one thing that I marvel at are people who act like they don’t indulge in sex or those people who act like sexcessories are taboo.

Go to any adult novelty store or party and you will find hordes of horny adult women, all of various ages, giggling like little girls over the extensive variety and massive dildos, the sensual oils (perhaps the fantasy of a pair of strong hands rubbing all over their body does wonders) and tasty edibles (are we really still grossed out by the taste of sperm?  Masque it already)

So you know what I say? ”Tattoo your Taboo!” (figuratively of course, however, whether you choose to actually do so is ENTIRELY up to you). Wear it like a badge of honor, own up to it. Let’s dress it up and take the sting out of the word and make it ours.
And let’s face it, circus freaks are called ”freaks” because they are out of the ordinary, uncommon, and entertaining. So when you’re considered ”freak-y” you’re extraordinary! No sexual encounter of any kind leaves a lasting impression if it has been the same old thing. But If you want to do away with the label altogether all you have to do is remember this one thing. The next time someone calls you a “Freak” simply tell them: “No… you’re just boring”.

Anal Sex Tips

You’ve been considering giving anal sex a try, but you weren’t sure if you will enjoy it.  We know the feeling.  We were there once before and wanted to share some of our experiences we’ve had with you. The most important thing you can do is
Relax!   The anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that can feel amazing when stimulated by a tongue, finger, penis, or toy.
Before engaging in any anal sex activity, you should be completely prepared – mentally and physically.  Foreplay before anal sex is not only fun, but downright necessary.
Here are our top ten tips for enjoying anal sex:

1.     Cleanliness is…Important
You want all of your intimate moments to be memorable, especially your anal sex experience.   You just don’t want to remember any brown residue after your partner withdraws from your anus.  This residue could be fecal matter and/or a combination of fecal matter and mucus membranes.  There isn’t much you can do to eliminate your mucus membranes, but you can control your bowels.    Prior to engaging in anal sex include a diet high in fiber to keep your colon clean.  Short on time?  Try using an anal douche or enema about an hour before intercourse.  This will allow any remaining fluid from the enema or douche to exit your body making your experience more comfortable.  Remember, you can jump into the shower afterward to refresh yourself and your partner.

2.     Keep it Wet
By wet, we mean your intestines.  Drink plenty of water.    This may sound silly but, when you don’t drink enough water, your body becomes dehydrated.  Water hydrates your intestines and helps elimination by producing softer stools.  If you are dehydrated you may become constipated.  Constipation = Uncomfortable sex.  No one wants sex to be uncomfortable.

3.     LUBE LUBE LUBE
We cannot stress this enough.  Use plenty of lube.  Unlike the vagina and the mouth, the anus  does not provide its own moisture.  We recommend using a silicone based lube.  Silicone lasts longer than water based lubes and does not dry out or get yucky.  If you are using a latex safe condom, and it says “lubricated”, for the purpose of anal sex, the lube isn’t enough, so always add more.

4. Foreplay
Before you and your partner get started, play with your anus.  Insert a well lubricated object (just make sure there are no jagged edges ie fingernails, damaged toys) inside of you or have your partner massage the rim of your anus.  When you are both ready, consider exploring safe analingus (oral sex of the anus) with your partner – you can cut open a condom and place it over the opening of the anus to protect yourself from bacteria normally found in the anus.

5.  Watch those signs!

The prospect of having anal sex is as exciting for the giver as well as the receiver.  Make sure your partner proceeds with caution! When you are ready, your anus will relax to let you know, your partner should slowly insert a toy or their penis inside of you.  A penis, even a toy, is a large object to insert inside of an anus, so be patient.  It may seem like it is taking forever to completely enter you, but the rewards are well worth it.  After anal foreplay and you are relaxed enough allow your partner to enter you partially giving your body time to adjust to the size and fit.  Breathe slowly until you are relaxed and you feel yourself opening up more.  When you do open more, allow your partner to go deeper.  If you need a break, have your partner withdraw partially, then attempt re-entry going deeper with each stroke.

6.    The Experience
If at any time during anal sex, you feel extreme pain or discomfort, STOP.  That is your body telling you that you are at risk for damage.  Let your partner know that you need a break.  Take some time, and when you are ready, add more lube and go for it.  embracedesires.com does not endorse desensitizing products for anal sex.

7.  Play Time
Another way of preparing yourself for anal sex is to stretch your muscles yourself.  You can use butt plugs.  This is a wonderful way to easily welcome your partner inside of you.

8. Move
Anal sex doesn’t have to be performed in one position.  It is crucial that you find the position that is most comfortable for you to receive your partner.  For anal sex beginners, try starting out flat on your stomach.  Once you have accepted your partner and the pleasure takes over, switch positions, you may be surprised to find your anal sex experience is more pleasurable in a position different from the one you started out with.

9.     Rest Room
If after enjoying anal sex, you feel like going to the bathroom, Go.  Just don’t strain.

10.     Back to basics
After you and your partner revel in the pleasure that is anal sex, you see some “leftovers”, don’t panic.  This is natural.  Just go clean yourself off, better yet, make it a prelude to more.  Shower together and clean each other off.

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