We still have discussions about it even to this day. What is the one complaint that men have when it comes to receiving oral sex? This topic even had a few us girls at happy hour wondering if we were performing it perfectly (we all think we are Super Duper at it) or are our partners just there for the ride. So we’ve asked a few real men in our Facebook page what would be the perfect way for a woman to perform fellatio. The top complaint men had were TEETH. Do people still have problems buffering those pearly whites? Apparently so. So here’s what the fellas are saying:
Watch your teeth! Must you still be reminded? OK. Many people don’t like to have their sensitive skin scraped against when they are in the throes of passion. Here’s a tip to prevent grinding against your partners magic stick. Let your mouth fill with spit (yes the wetter, the better). Pull your lips under your teeth as if you need to shave your upper lip and go down, down baby.
Offer to give head – Be warned: You must be confident to do this. Confidence is sexy. Although this may seem simple enough to do, but a lot of men still feel like they have to ask for oral pleasure. Besides, when you’re exceptional at your talents, show off! Who can turn down a great offer.
Take it to the top – The head of the penis is extremely sensitive. Use your tongue to firmly caress the entire bulbous mound. Unlike some women who prefer a gentle approach, men tend to prefer a more vigorous touch.
Juggling acts belong in the circus – But ball juggling in the bedroom is ok. Just be easy on his nuts. We hear they are very sensitive. You can gently, and we cannot stress this enough, gently massage his balls with your hands (this is the juggling part), but too much and you may find your aggressive attempt at seduction leaving your partner quivering in pain. Think more like shifting his balls in one hand.
Please keep your hands inside the ride When you have the skill to delicately massage his balls in your mouth, remember to stroke the shaft. Keep your well lubricated hands all over him.
Send a bing-bong to his ding dong. When you have him inside of your hot, wet mouth make some noise. No, not any kind of noise. Don’t worry about what your mother said about making noise while you have something in your mouth. Make a delicious sound of slurping and humming and moaning you get while you are licking and sucking. Wait, we need a break… Ok, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, you want your partner into it, so you need to be into it as well. A nice hum from your mouth while performing oral sex can simulate the gentle vibration he would get from a male vibrator.
Go for a happy ending. Put it in your mouth. Not into swallowing your partner’s load? Play with his cum in your mouth. Blow big semen filled bubbles. Or let him release himself on you. It’s like they get to see their hot naughty fluids for the first time.
BONUS: Rub it in. Go on, rub his semen on you. Using his semi erect penis, massage all of his creamy semen all over your face. This bold seductive act shows him that you love every inch of him. If you’re daring, you can even lightly tap your face if he is still leaking to get every last drop
Sharing is caring. Share your blow job tips with us.
There is hope! Just as women have treatments to ease the symptoms of menopause, so do men. Men can talk to their physicians and ask their doctors for an exam to test whether or not their testosterone levels are low. If that is the case, they can consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy. A combination of antidepressants and TRT will help relieve decreases in libido, depression and fatigue. Keep in mind this treatment combination does have adverse side effects especially if you suffer from prostate cancer that you may want to discuss with your doctor.
What do you think? Do you know of any men who act like they go through “periods”? Let us know.
Let’s talk. There are many people who love sex. They really love sex, and we love them too. It’s the best use of their time, actually. These aren’t the type of people who use the old headache excuse to avoid sex, these people – our people – love to get down and dirty.
But did you know that there are many advantages to having sex. Not the typical procreation perks, but real health benefits. When you’re having sex, and you’re doing all of the right things, it leads to orgams, and orgasms, my friends lead to wonderful health benefits, even when engaging in self pleasure.
Orgasms not only feel good to you they are also good for you. According to the experts, not just us, the act of achieving an orgasm effects your well-being in unique ways.
So no more excuses for not attempting to achieve an orgasm. Having an orgasm is a tried and true method to reduce stress, that with a little forethought, can be achieved anywhere.
Just think how healthier you become after every orgasm.
Pain reliever – It hurts so good. Endorphins increase your pain tolerance by 70%.
Anti-aging bonus – Dah-ling, you look mahvelous. Regular orgasms release DHEA (DEHYDROEPIANDROESTERONE) – don’t worry about how to pronounce it, just know that it restores skin, repairs damaged tissues, and helps the skin look more youthful and plump. It’s like the fountain of youth is within your grasp.
Reduces stress and depression – Going to the spa is nice to de-stress, but going to get laid is better. Another chemical released during orgasm is oxytocin a poweful stress reliever.
Improves memory and brain function – now who’s the smarty pants. During climax, your blood circulation increases which helps transport oxygen rich nutrients to the brain.
Sleep Aid – Who doesn’t want to fall asleep after a great lay? Oxytocin the stress relieving lovers hormone, and endorphins are released promoting restful sleep and encouraging tension release.
Boosts immune system – Because it’s cold and flu season somewhere. High levels of immunoglobulin A, protects us from the common cold.
Aids in weight loss – skip the gym, go for the big O! Orgasms curb your appetite with the release of dopamine. You can also get a good cardio workout during a half hour of sex burning at least 65 calories per position, per session. The more you do it the better it is for you.
Open Relationships; A fantasy some people think of. How do you start talking to your partner about having an open relationship? Being pleased by your lover and another simultaneously is extremely erotic. But what happens when your otherwise reserved partner admits that having a threesome is something they want to experience, not just in their head? So many questions come up? Does my partner want to live out this fantasy because I am not satisfying them sexually? Is this the beginning of the end of our relationship? Could this be an excuse that my partner is using to walk away from our relationship?
Not the sassy sitcom with the two female and sole male roommate from the seventies, we’re talking about what happens when people agree to an open marriage or open relationship? When two people make the decision to bring in a third (or more) partner can be both exciting and frightening. To ease that transition, try reading The Threesome Handbook – A practical guide to sleeping with three by Vicky Vantoch. Her book provides a practical guide to sleeping with three. It gives perks of the poly-amorous lifestyle, especially how to prevent jealousy and finding the perfect third partner for BOTH of you.
But here are some basic tips for those interested in exploring the threesome lifestyle:
Don’t include a friend, family member or co-worker. (you have to deal with them on a regular basis and if things didn’t go well, you may have created a mess).
Do NOT include your ex!
Take a trip. Find someone who is willing and someone you won’t have to see on a regular basis.
Remember who the original couple is. Tend to your partner’s needs and keep in mind that the third person is just extra, not a replacement. This means that the third person shouldn’t linger in the bed with you and your partner.
Reassure your partner. What you two are doing is for the pleasure of you both. Tell your partner how much your experience turns you on, Your partner is your main priority, so make sure to tell them.
Practice safe sex. Let’s face it, STI’s are still out there and the person you bring into your relationship may have a dormant infection that they didn’t tell you about. Plus there are so many fun condoms in different textures to choose from.
Set up guidelines on what is acceptable and discuss them with your partner BEFOREHAND.
Need more reading material on introducing a third partner into your relationship? Shop now at www.embracedesires.com
Pressed or caressed the right way, a woman can be transported to such ecstasy, that for a few seconds, the rest of the world ceases to exist. But get it wrong and pain, frustration, or dull nothingness can ensue. It’s a stark contrast to a man’s experience; so long as they can get an erection, a few minutes of vigorous stimulation generally results in ejaculation.
The big O! The great climax moment that you hear about, read about, and sometimes, dream about. The Mystery of the Female Orgasm doesn’t have to be out of your reach any longer.
When trying to bring her to her peak of climax, pay attention to little tell tale signs about her body. When pleasuring your woman ask yourself these questions. Is she becoming more relaxed and tense at the same time? Is she becoming more vocal? Chances are, as long as you are someone that she knows and is interested in, she is about to have an orgasm.
You’ve heard the girls whispering about it. Analsex. It’s true, every day people are engaging in and enjoying anal sex. You wonder what is soooo good about anal sex that is driving people to incredible depths of ecstasy. Rear entry love is supposed to be taboo and it’s supposed to hurt, right? Wrong!
First things first when it comes to having great anal sex. Relax; the anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that feel amazing when stimulated by a tongue, finger, penis, or toy. Before engaging in anal sex, you should be completely prepared – mentally and physically. Foreplay before anal sex is not only fun, but downright necessary.
Before you engage in anal sex or any sexual activity, there are a few basic rules.
Cleanliness is next to, well you know the rest.
You want your sexual encounters to be memorable. You remember what the person had on and you remember their scent. Ever have someone walk by and their enticing scent made you want to be closer to them? Some people have a naturally appealing smell. But there is nothing worse than having someone near you, let alone on top of you smelling horrific!
LUBRICATION – Lube Me or Leave Me Alone
We cannot stress this enough. Use plenty of lube. Unlike the vagina and the mouth, the anus does not provide its own lubrication. We recommend using a silicone based lube. Silicone lasts longer than water based lubes and does not dry out or get yucky. If you are using a latex safe condom, even though it says “lubricated”, for the purpose of anal sex, the lube on the condom isn’t enough, so always add more.
Love Me Long Time. Please.
Before you and your partner get started, foreplay is crucial when it comes to anal sex. Play with your anus. It’s a great idea to get to know your body and find out what feels good to you ahead of time. Insert a well lubricated object (just make sure there are no jagged edges ie fingernails, damaged toys) inside of you or have your partner massage the rim of your anus. When you are both ready to take your sex-ploration further, consider safe anilingus activity (oral sex of the anus – or simply put RIMMING) with your partner. Use a dental dam when performing this sexual act or you can cut open a condom and place it over the opening of the anus to protect yourself from bacteria normally found in the anus.
STOP! In The Name of All That is Great!!!
The prospect of having anal sex is as exciting for the giver as well as the receiver. Make sure your partner proceeds with caution! When you are ready, your anus will relax to let you know when the time is right. When that time comes, your partner should slowly insert a toy, finger, or their penis inside of you. A penis, even a toy, is a large object to insert inside of an anus, so be patient. It may seem like it is taking forever to completely enter you, but the rewards are well worth it. After you are relaxed from wonderful anal foreplay, allow your partner to enter you partially giving your body time to adjust to the size and fit. Breathe slowly until you are relaxed and you feel yourself opening up more. When you do open more, allow your partner to go deeper. Adding additional lubrication if necessary. If you need a break, have your partner withdraw partially, then attempt re-entry going deeper with each stroke.
It Seems Like You’re Ready
If at any time during anal sex, you feel extreme pain or discomfort, STOP. That is your body telling you that you are at risk for damage. Let your partner know that you need a break. Take some time, and when you are ready, add more lube and go for it. embracedesires.com does not endorse desensitizing products for anal sex.
Now that you have the basic tips for great anal sex, experiment with different sex positions.
We aren’t alone in our excitement of anal sex. The people at Kinkly.com have something to say about great anal sex positions. We’ve shared a couple of our favorite and amazing sex positions with you.
You get to look into your lovers eyes while they prepare to enter to enter you from the back, except you are watching their facial expressions. That’s HOT! Relax. Rub on your clit for an incredible experience. In the missionary positions, your back gets curved, making it easier to enter the rectum as it straightens out.
Face Down, A$$ Up!
Ah yes, the classic doggy style position for anal sex. Not only does he get an amazing view of you spread open with his manhood entering you, but in this position, the G-Spot gets an extra treat as it is easier to hit and he gets to go deeper. Yasss, honey!
Most importantly, be safe, be creative any time you are engaging in any sexual act. Make love fun. Incorporating lube and toys can be a fun and sensual accessory to your ana lovemaking experience.
flog [flog, flawg]
verb (used with object), flogged, flogging.
To beat with a whip, stick, etc., usually in the BDSM lifestyle as punishment; whip; scourge.
We’ve been asked, “if they do the same thing, what is the difference between whips and floggers and how do I know which one is right for me”?
In a nutshell, a whip is a general, umbrella term that covers many sub- categories: Canes, floggers, crops, paddles, and whips. The main difference in these subcategories is in their flexibility. Canes , crops, and paddles are typically inflexible objects made from solid materials like wood, steel, or even bamboo, but floggers and whips are much more flexible.
They are all designed to strike or inflict pain upon the recipient. Both floggers and whips come in a wide variety of materials: leather, faux leather, chains, rubber, fake fur, pretty much any material that can move freely with a flick of your arm.
Keep in mind, that floggers typically have multiple tails or strands (usually more than nine). And whips generally have a single tail or strand.
The main difference between being flogged and whipped is in your stance.
The sound achieved from flogging can sound like a thud and you can enjoy a stinging sensation which can be described as being as soft as a feather to being as sharp as a knife cutting your skin.
Whichever striking method you choose, always remember to have a safe word so your partner can go as intense as you can handle and a safe word to know when to ease back.
Female ejaculation is still a hot button topic as demonstrated by the response to the research study just published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine that was then misappropriated by the popular website I Fucking Love Science.
In the 90s when “female ejaculation” became “a thing” I questioned the use of the word “female”. Why is it not just ejaculation? Why do we need the female modifier, as if it’s a lesser version of the “real thing”? People with penises ejaculate. People with vulvas ejaculate. People ejaculate as a sexual response to things that make them feel good. At the end of the day, that’s what is most important.
It’s called “female” because many people find it incomprehensible that men and women—people with all matter of genitalia—ejaculate. Some seem to maintain that ejaculation shall remain a marvel of man, untouchable and unachievable by the ladies.
It got to a point where women who ejaculate were making videos teaching other women how to do it. The pressure was on. And that’s exactly what we don’t need. But well-meaning female ejaculators wanted more women to experience the gush.
Studies have been done in order to figure out just what this “female ejaculate” that so-called squirters propel into the faces and eyes of their beloveds is made of. The Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers published their groundbreaking book A New View of a Woman’s Body in 1991 because they were done with the male bias in research that had rendered us disabled in our scientific information about female sexuality. They did their own dissections and renamed many female genital parts based on that research. Other small-scale studies have been done examining female ejaculate, which Rebecca Chalker outlines in The Clitoral Truth.
The recent study is no different. It’s small. It’s not a significant sample (7 women to be exact), and there is bias in the way the findings are discussed. But we love pop science and IFLS put out a headline that even the research didn’t state: “Study Concludes That Women Who Squirt During Sex Are Actually Peeing.” Nope. That’s not what the research says. It says urine is “indicated”. Along with prostatic fluid. Yep, female bodies make that too.
Sex Educator and Nurse-Midwife Sheri Winston proposes that female ejaculation is antimicrobial and designed to keep potential infection-producing agents out of the urethra.Given that women often get UTIs from sex it makes a whole lot of sense that our body would have a function to prevent infections that can cause dangerous kidney and full-body infections. Our bodies are amazing with immunity. Where’s the research on that? It’s a really good research question.
Let’s break down what’s really important about “female ejaculation”.
Number one: There is not nearly enough real science about healthy sexuality because healthy sexuality will never fill the pockets of big pharma. Our science on female sexuality is light years behind the science of male sexuality because it doesn’t get funded. Unless there is a sexual “dysfunction” involved that might require some pills—or that we could spin so people think they need more pills.
Two:Ejaculation is real in both males and females. Women report ejaculating and indeed it has been documented in old Chinese texts, The Kama Sutra, and by Aristotle. It’s not new and it’s not a myth. Ask any woman who experiences it. Seriously, why are some folks so avidly trying to discredit the ejaculate? #Ejaculatehappens
Three: Regardless of the content of the fluid, which does contain prostatic fluid from the paraurethral and Skene’s glands, it results from a sexual event. Calling it “bedwetting” or attempting to shame women because it contains urine is totally dismissive of the arousal that creates it. Amy Luna Manderino of the Sex Evolutionproposes we call it an “orgasmic flush.” This highlights the fact that sexual arousal produces the fluid. It is also likely that ejaculation has a function, as Winston purports.
Four: Women don’t need to feel pressure to ejaculate. We’ve got enough pressure about sex. If things are working and you are having pleasure, enjoy it. And if it’s important to you to learn this sex skill, then go to a workshop or check out the “How to Female Ejaculate” video and have at it. Avoid concluding that something about you is inadequate if you don’t seem to ejaculate. You could be You could be ejaculating in small amounts that are harder to detect or maybe you don’t. What’s important is that you are happy with your sexual functioning. Keep the pressure off.
If you are a woman who does ejaculate, please don’t let this poorly done research and research reporting shame you into holding back or altering how you come. If it feels good, enjoy it. Ejaculate is not the same as urine and even if it were? Urine is mostly water. If you ejaculate, fantastic. Keep having those orgasmic flushes and enjoy the ride.
Amy Jo Goddard is a Sexual Empowerment Coach who thrives on helping people have the delicious sex and relationships they desire. With 20 years of experience in the sexuality field, she works virtually with private clients, and holds sumptuous VIP Days in the beautiful Napa Valley. She facilitates a 9-month unique Women’s Sexual Empowerment Program where women have opportunities to deeply explore, heal and celebrate their sexuality and desire. Amy Jo travels as a speaker, and teaches classes that help people connect to their sexuality, make more money, and enjoy greater abundance and pleasure in their lives. She is working on a forthcoming book about sexual empowerment and writes about practical, real-world sexuality at amyjogoddard.com. You can subscribe to her weekly ezine to receive her sexual empowerment articles and videos, and for information on upcoming classes & trainings.
Cherry blossoms – a symbol of new beginnings, feminine dominance and beauty
It’s that time again and with the New Year upon us, the New Year brings new things! So many people say “new year, new me” because you get 365 new days to reset the clock and live the life you have always wanted to live! For the New Year, remember to include resolutions to improve your relationship.
Don’t waste another day–in fact, don’t waist another moment! It isn’t necessary to wait for the beginning of the year to start afresh. As a matter of fact, start now! Decide that today is the day and now is the time to focus on enhancing the best you that there is to make you happy and your relationship thrive.
Starting a new workout regimen is great for the new year. When incorporating your workout schedule into your daily life, consider ways to plan for a sex-sational New Year and New You! While you’re pushing yourself to go harder in the gym, think about how much sexier you will look during your orgasms. Yes, yes, and oh yes! More orgasms can improve your physical, mental and emotional health! When you embrace your passionate self, you open the door to undiscovered desires.
Set aside some quiet time to connect with the intellectual beauty that you are, either alone or with your partner. Meditation is great to relieve stress while allowing you to experience a more intimate connection with your lover without penetration.
While lying in bed together, face each other and entwine your legs so the legs are resting scissor style with one another and allow his genitals to rest on her genitals. Relax, breathe deep, and focus on the space the two of you are sharing for a few moments.
Make your workout, part of foreplay
It’s the beginning of the New Year! Let your inhibitions down and like the athletic giant says, “Just Do It”, but do it together! Look at that body! See how hard your partner is working on developing strength and muscles? Yes, now imagine those ripped abs and muscular chest sweating all over your body. Shoot a few knowing glances at your partner. Let him know that after this workout, there will be a post workout at home (unless you can sneak a tryst in on the way). According to Dr. Laura Berman, a leading sex and relationship therapist on OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, make a resolution to stay open to the promise of sex even if you aren’t immediately in the mood. Kiss your partner, enjoy his touches, and let your mind delve into fantasy. Stay open to sex and tune into the pleasure of being touched and kissed. You will likely find that your body responds and that you are in the mood after all!
Have more sex, more often. Depending on your sex position, experts say 30 minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. (Ladies, you will burn more calories during sex when you are on top). It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Wow! Orgasm plus weight loss! Yeah, that is a workout by itself!
Spice things up
February is the shortest month to try something new! Think of the freakiest thing you’ve ever wanted to try and go for it! Try a new sex toy – Need a bit of inspiration? Check out Embracedesires.comto get started. Do you want to be restrained? Has the book series50 Shades of Grey left you wanting to channel your inner Anastasia? You must tell your partner what interests you! Say, “Spank Me”. Be bold and daring, either way, tell your partner. Write it down and leave it as a little love note or, if you can’t leave an actual note, send a text message. Life is too short. Be as uninhibited as you desire with your lover! And oh, have fun with it!
As an added bonus, having sex may be good for your heart. A 20-year-long British study shows that men who had sex twice or more a week were half as likely to have a fatal heart attack than men who had sex less than once a month.
Spend Time Getting to Know What YOU Like
As the old saying goes, “how are you going to love someone if you can’t love yourself” – ok so we paraphrased a bit. Really get to know the one person you’ve been with your entire life! Self-stimulation is a normal, healthy and a wonderful way to get in touch with your hot spots. Be sure to have clean hands and use a high quality lube when pleasuring yourself to make each stroke wonderful. Once you’ve become familiar with what you like, go for mutual masturbation. Simultaneously, stimulate each other. For a unique and erotic experience, stimulate each other without penetration and see who comes to climax first. Winner gets to dominate. For stimulation without risk of a fatigued hand, use vibrating toys just grab the batteries or make sure everything is clean and charged, for clitoral and g-spot stimulation. Men can benefit from the use of a onacup (male masturbation sleeve) with a vibrating bullet. If you don’t know how to love yourself, nobody else will…
What better way to reduce stress than making yourself happy. Natural endorphins released during self-stimulating pleasure can improve your overall mood by improved circulation and relieving stress.
Be Bold and Daring in the Bedroom
Let’s get to the bottom of anal sex and straight men. Many straight guys have preconceived notions about anal play. Mainly, if you derive pleasure from anal stimulation, you must somehow be gay. Guys, you can still have the raging heterosexuality of an NFL offensive line and explore your all of your erogenous zones. The anus is full of sensitive nerve tissue that, when stimulated can bring immense pleasure. Sexual orientation doesn’t change based on pleasure zones. We recommend that you start by experimenting with a well silicone – lubed finger. If you are worried about residue, wear sterile gloves, and then lube your finger with a quality silicone lube. When you and your partner are ready, then you can graduate to anal plugs. Anal plugs with a flare at the end are best if you want to avoid a trip to the ER…”uh, Doc, I was reading this blog a few hours ago and…, well you get the idea. We highly suggest the use of silicone-based lubricants for pleasure during anal sex. The silicone will not be absorbed into your skin as would water-based lubes thus reducing friction and increasing pleasure. Word to the wise – START OFF SLOW! Your ass isn’t going anywhere! If it hurts, take a break.
Having sex, whether anal or vaginal, boosts your immunity. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.
But, What Does That Mouth Do?
Give your partner mind-blowing pleasure throughout the year. Dedicate a time to perfecting your oral skills. Oral sex is one of the most delightful ways couples can give each other pleasure without saying a word. Many men are fans of blow jobs as it gives them intense sexual sensations and can bring him to a pretty intense orgasm. To make him go weak at the knees, when giving him a blow job linger on the parts of his anatomy that are particularly sensitive – the tip of his penis, his testicles and his perineum – the secret spot between the testicles and the anus. To really turn him on, include a quiet, yet powerful vibrating toy in your oral play. Then, blindfold him and tie him up. Gently place the toy under his scrotum (the balls) before you go down on him, then deep throat your man. Ladies, this make him moan with pleasure!
Some studies suggest that women love receiving oral sex also. We have to agree. In fact, 30 to 50 percent of women say they can’t reach an orgasm through intercourse alone. A woman’s clitoris is the most pleasure-sensitive part of her vagina and that’s where you’ll want to devote your attention. In fact, the tiny little clitoris has more sensory nerve endings than the entire penis! Stimulating your partner’s vulva, clitoris and entrance to the vagina using your tongue, lips and mouth will drive her wild, resulting in a super intense orgasm! So, relax and share the pleasure – both giving and receiving to experience a new dimension of sensuality…mmh, mmmh, good!
Why Not Improve Your Mood
Orgasms increase estrogen and endorphin levels which makes you feel good and naturally improves your mood.