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Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

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Sex Advice

Open Up – Advice

relationship advice column, embrace desires
Share Your Thoughts – Open Up with Embracedesires.com

So we’ve been asked this question by more than one person and realized that it needed an answer.  While we are not psychiatrists, nor are we psychologists, we do have a bit of experience in relationships.

You can always open up with us.

Q: I’m a woman in her mid twenties and was asked by this guy that I just started seeing (we haven’t even had sex yet but he had the nerve to ask)  how many sexual partners have I had. I thought that was an inappropriate and invasive question and I stop talking to him. Am I  overreacting? I don’t think that is any of his business.

A:  In this day and age of increasing cases of H.I.V., and other STI’s on the rise, it is important to have the discussion of previous partners and past sexual activity.  That being said, disclosure of past exposures or contractions of STI’s should be a conversation to have with any potential partner before you become intimate.  It is the responsible thing to do.

Tell us what you think this woman should do.  Is she being immature for cutting this guy off?

Release the Power of your Vagina.

You’ve heard of it existing.  Maybe you believe you have one.  But men already know of the power of the V and how it can bring a lover to their  knees in ecstasy and in some instances, the poor house.

It’s that moment when your kitty is being stroked, and you hear him moan, “mmm, this is some good pussy” Bamm!  That’s your confirmation right there that you have that good good. Sorry to tell you, ladies, but…  No, it isn’t.

Men put on verbal performances too (yes, men fake pleasure sounds)  so, ladies we must pay attention to their body language as well as what we hear.

Read on to discover more ways to make him mean it when he tells you that your pussy is good.

While having intercourse, squeeze, really squeeze those kegel muscles! Squeeze  on every up stroke if you can.  If you’re too wet or feels too loose, change positions.  Make your vagina the victorious one.

There is no such thing as sex just happening.  Every morning that you wake up is an opportunity to be sexually active.

  • Make sure you shower and groom yourself every day in anticipation of an impromptu romp.
  • If your daily routine includes the gym after work, keep a fresh pack of cleansing wipes designed specifically for a woman’s delicate and most sensitive area.
  • Give him a sweet treat to eat.  Keep some edible dusting powder stored discreetly in a small zippered plastic bag or a stylish compact case.  We prefer a small compact case with two compartments, one for our edible powders and the other side for our condoms.
  • Go for pussy power!  Train your pelvic walls.  Do kegel exercises every day, every hour (ok, that may not be possible for some, but on your way to work, in a meeting, during lunch – you get the idea). If you need more resistance for your vaginal walls, purchase pelvic floor exercise tools. They come in different shapes, from eggs to wands, and in a variety of weights.
  • Keep that kitty pretty. There is no better feeling than undressing and showing off a beautifully adorned kitty cat.  As part of your grooming process, consider changing your hair color down there, or trimming your hair in special designs or shapes.

For the woman who loves glitz and glamour, add some sparkling crystals to your pubic area.  Don’t worry about the crystals they have adhesive backings so you can reposition them when they get moved around (and they will) during sex.

Claim your victory for your vagina and you too can have power in your pussy.

Keeping Your Kitty Clean – Lessons your mother forget to tell you.

Most mothers teach their little girls how to clean their lady bits.  Always wipe from front to back. Some lessons, she probably forgot to tell you because she didn’t know herself.

Besides simply wiping from front to back after using the bathroom, there are other equally important things a woman must do to keep her kitty clean?

  • Keep those body scrubs, soaps, and feminine washes away from the vajajay.  Yes, they may smell amazing, but the chemicals used in producing them actually promote yeast infections and other skin irritations.  Who wants to make monthly visits to the gyn, because of soap irritation when you can avoid the cause of the problem yourself?
  • If you feel the need to clean your self-cleaning poonanny, be gentle with her.  Never use regular soap inside of your vagina.  Use a gentle, low pH soap like Basis, Pears, Cetaphil, or SebaMed for the inner labia.  Allow your p-ssy, to smell like a p-ssy. Treat her right, and you will reap the benefits.
  • When in the shower cleaning that good good, use your freshly washed bare hands as washcloths may contain dust or other germs from the air.  Better yet, use a handheld shower head.  You will not only hit your sweet spot during your alone time in the shower, but you can use the force of the water to clean out your most intimate area.
  • When you’re all done, pat yourself dry – don’t rub your skin with the towel.
  • tip: *Use a blow dryer on cool to dry off.

Blow His Mind – 8 Surefire Tips to Give a Toe Curling Blow Job

As Featured On EzineArticles

We still have discussions about it even to this day.  What is the one complaint that men have when it comes to receiving oral sex?  This topic even had a few us girls at happy hour wondering if we were performing it perfectly (we all think we are Super Duper at it) or are our partners just there for the ride. So we’ve asked a few real men in our Facebook page what would be the perfect way for a woman to perform fellatio.  The top complaint men had were TEETH.  Do people still have problems buffering those pearly whites?  Apparently so.  So here’s what the fellas are saying:

  • Watch your teeth!  Must you still be reminded?  OK. Many people don’t  like to have their sensitive skin scraped against when they are in the throes of passion.  Here’s a tip to prevent grinding against your partners magic stick.  Let your mouth fill with spit (yes the wetter, the better).  Pull your lips under your teeth as if you need to shave your upper lip and go down, down baby.
  • Offer to give head – Be warned:  You must be confident to do this.  Confidence is sexy.  Although this may seem simple enough to do, but a lot of men still feel like they have to ask for oral pleasure.  Besides, when you’re exceptional at your talents, show off! Who can turn down a great offer.
  • Take it to the top – The head of the penis is extremely sensitive.  Use your tongue to firmly caress the entire bulbous mound.  Unlike some women who prefer a gentle approach, men tend to prefer a more vigorous touch.
  • Juggling acts belong in the circus – But ball juggling in the bedroom is ok. Just be easy on his nuts.  We hear they are very sensitive.  You can gently, and we cannot stress this enough, gently massage his balls with your hands (this is the juggling part), but too much and you may find your aggressive attempt at seduction leaving your partner quivering in pain. Think more like shifting his balls in one hand.
  • Please keep your hands inside the ride When you have the skill to delicately massage his balls in your mouth, remember to stroke the shaft.  Keep your well lubricated hands all over him.
  • Send a bing-bong to his ding dong.  When you have him inside of your hot, wet mouth make some noise.  No, not any kind of noise.  Don’t worry about what your mother said about making noise while you have something in your mouth.  Make a delicious sound of slurping and humming and moaning you get while you are licking and sucking.  Wait, we need a break… Ok, what were we talking about?  Oh yeah, you want your partner into it, so you need to be into it as well.  A nice hum from your mouth while performing oral sex can simulate the gentle vibration he would get from a male vibrator.
  • Go for a happy ending.  Put it in your mouth.  Not into swallowing your partner’s load? Play with his cum in your mouth.  Blow big semen filled bubbles.  Or let him release himself on you.  It’s like they get to see their hot naughty fluids for the first time.
  • BONUS:  Rub it in.  Go on, rub his semen on you.  Using his semi erect penis, massage all of his creamy semen all over your face.  This bold seductive act shows him that you love every inch of him.  If you’re daring, you can even lightly tap your face if he is still leaking to get every last drop

Sharing is caring.  Share your blow job tips with us.

Male Menopause – When Your Man is on His Period

He’s tried performance enhancing pills and nothing works.  He’s tired.  He’s moody.  He  won’t get into the mood. And now he’s acting like a grumpy old man.

We have been saying it for years.  Men go through some form of menopause as they age. Their testosterone levels decrease, and they start acting funny.  Whether it’s mood swings, unexplained aches and pains or change in sexual function, men still go through what doctors call Andropause.

Man oh Manopause
Man oh Manopause

There is hope!  Just as women have treatments to ease the symptoms of menopause, so do men.  Men can talk to their physicians and ask their doctors for an exam to test whether or not their testosterone levels are low.  If that is the case, they can consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy.  A combination of antidepressants and  TRT will help relieve decreases in libido, depression and fatigue.  Keep in mind this treatment combination does have adverse side effects especially if you suffer from prostate cancer that you may want to discuss with your doctor.

What do you think?  Do you know of any men who act like they go through “periods”?  Let us know.

O! Yes! Top 7 Benefits of Orgasms

O! Yes! 7 Benefits of Orgasms

Let’s talk.  There are many people who love sex.  They really love sex, and we love them too.  It’s the best use of their time, actually.  These aren’t the type of people who use the old headache excuse to avoid sex, these people – our people – love to get down and dirty.

But did you know that there are many advantages to having sex. Not the typical procreation perks, but real health benefits.  When you’re having sex,  and you’re doing all of the right things, it leads to orgams, and orgasms,  my friends lead to wonderful health benefits,  even when engaging in self pleasure.

Orgasms not only feel good to you they are also good for you. According to the experts, not just us, the act of achieving an orgasm effects your well-being in unique ways.

So no more excuses for not attempting to achieve an orgasm. Having an orgasm is a tried and true method to reduce stress, that with a little forethought, can be achieved anywhere.

Just think how healthier you become after every orgasm.

Orgasm benefits

Pain reliever – It hurts so good. Endorphins increase your pain tolerance by 70%.

Anti-aging bonus  – Dah-ling, you look mahvelous. Regular orgasms release  DHEA (DEHYDROEPIANDROESTERONE) – don’t worry about how to pronounce it, just know that it restores skin, repairs damaged tissues, and helps the skin look more youthful and plump. It’s like the fountain of youth is within your grasp.

Reduces stress and depression – Going to the spa is nice to de-stress, but going to get laid is better. Another chemical released during orgasm is oxytocin a poweful stress reliever.

Improves memory and brain function  – now who’s the smarty pants. During climax, your blood circulation increases which helps transport oxygen rich nutrients to the brain.

Sleep Aid – Who doesn’t want to fall asleep after a great lay? Oxytocin the stress relieving lovers hormone, and endorphins are released promoting restful sleep and encouraging tension release.

Boosts immune system – Because it’s cold and flu season somewhere. High levels of immunoglobulin A, protects us from the common cold.

Aids in weight loss – skip the gym, go for the big O! Orgasms curb your appetite with the release of dopamine. You can also get a good cardio workout during a half hour of sex burning at least 65 calories per position, per session. The  more you do it the better it is for you.

Torn Between Two Lovers – Talking To Your Partner About An Open Relationship

Open Relationships; A fantasy some people think of.  How do you start talking to your partner about having an open relationship? Being pleased by your lover and another simultaneously is extremely erotic.  But what happens when your otherwise reserved partner admits that having a threesome is something they want to experience, not just in their head?  So many questions come up?  Does my partner want to live out this fantasy because I am not satisfying them sexually?  Is this the beginning of the end of our relationship?  Could this be an excuse that my partner is using to walk away from our relationship?

abstract heart people 123rtf

Three’s Company.

Not the sassy sitcom with the two female and sole male roommate from the seventies, we’re talking about what happens when people agree to an open marriage or open relationship?  When two people make the decision to bring in a third (or more) partner can be both exciting and frightening.  To ease that transition, try reading The Threesome Handbook – A practical guide to sleeping with three by Vicky Vantoch.  Her book provides a practical guide to sleeping with three.  It gives perks of the poly-amorous lifestyle, especially how to prevent jealousy and finding the perfect third partner for BOTH of you.

But here are some basic tips for those interested in exploring the threesome lifestyle:

  • Don’t include a friend, family member or co-worker.  (you have to deal with them on a regular basis and if things didn’t go well, you may have created a mess).
  • Do NOT include your ex!
  • Take a trip.  Find someone who is willing and someone you won’t have to see on a regular basis.
  • Remember who the original couple is.  Tend to your partner’s needs and keep in mind that the third person is just extra, not a replacement.  This means that the third person shouldn’t linger in the bed with you and your partner.
  • Reassure your partner.  What you two are doing is for the pleasure of you both. Tell your partner how much your experience turns you on, Your partner is your main priority, so make sure to tell them.
  • Practice safe sex.  Let’s face it, STI’s are still out there and the person you bring into your relationship may have a dormant infection that they didn’t tell you about.  Plus there are so many fun condoms in different textures to choose from.
  • Set up guidelines on what is acceptable and discuss them with your partner BEFOREHAND.

Need more reading material on introducing a third partner into your relationship?  Shop now at www.embracedesires.com

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Discover the Mystery of the Female Orgasm

Pressed or caressed the right way, a woman can be transported to such ecstasy, that for a few seconds, the rest of the world ceases to exist. But get it wrong and pain, frustration, or dull nothingness can ensue. It’s a stark contrast to a man’s experience; so long as they can get an erection, a few minutes of vigorous stimulation generally results in ejaculation.

The big O!  The great climax moment that you hear about, read about, and sometimes, dream about.  The Mystery of the Female Orgasm doesn’t have to be out of your reach any longer.

When trying to bring her to her peak of climax, pay attention to little tell tale signs about her body.  When pleasuring your woman ask yourself these questions.  Is she becoming more relaxed and tense at the same time?  Is she becoming more vocal?  Chances are, as long as you are someone that she knows and is interested in, she is about to have an orgasm.

6 Tips for Great Anal Sex – Rear Door Entry Lovemaking

anal sex, rear door entry, couples pleasureYou’ve heard the girls whispering about it. Anal sex. It’s true, every day people are engaging in and enjoying anal sex. You wonder what is soooo good about anal sex that is driving people to incredible depths of ecstasy. Rear entry love is supposed to be taboo and it’s supposed to hurt, right? Wrong!

First things first when it comes to having great anal sex. Relax; the anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that feel amazing when stimulated by a tongue, finger, penis, or toy. Before engaging in anal sex, you should be completely prepared – mentally and physically. Foreplay before anal sex is not only fun, but downright necessary.

Before you engage in anal sex or any sexual activity, there are a few basic rules.

Cleanliness is next to, well you know the rest.

You want your sexual encounters to be memorable. You remember what the person had on and you remember their scent. Ever have someone walk by and their enticing scent made you want to be closer to them? Some people have a naturally appealing smell. But there is nothing worse than having someone near you, let alone on top of you smelling horrific!

 LUBRICATION – Lube Me or Leave Me Alone

We cannot stress this enough.  Use plenty of lube.  Unlike the vagina and the mouth, the anus does not provide its own lubrication.  We recommend using a silicone based lube.  Silicone lasts longer than water based lubes and does not dry out or get yucky.  If you are using a latex safe condom, even though it says “lubricated”, for the purpose of anal sex, the lube on the condom isn’t enough, so always add more.

Love Me Long Time. Please.

Before you and your partner get started, foreplay is crucial when it comes to anal sex. Play with your anus.  It’s a great idea to get to know your body and find out what feels good to you ahead of time. Insert a well lubricated object (just make sure there are no jagged edges ie fingernails, damaged toys) inside of you or have your partner massage the rim of your anus.  When you are both ready to take your sex-ploration further, consider safe anilingus activity (oral sex of the anus – or simply put RIMMING) with your partner. Use a dental dam when performing this sexual act or you can cut open a condom and place it over the opening of the anus to protect yourself from bacteria normally found in the anus.

STOP! In The Name of All That is Great!!!

The prospect of having anal sex is as exciting for the giver as well as the receiver.  Make sure your partner proceeds with caution! When you are ready, your anus will relax to let you know when the time is right. When that time comes, your partner should slowly insert a toy, finger, or their penis inside of you.  A penis, even a toy, is a large object to insert inside of an anus, so be patient.  It may seem like it is taking forever to completely enter you, but the rewards are well worth it.  After you are relaxed from wonderful anal foreplay, allow your partner to enter you partially giving your body time to adjust to the size and fit.  Breathe slowly until you are relaxed and you feel yourself opening up more.  When you do open more, allow your partner to go deeper.  Adding additional lubrication if necessary. If you need a break, have your partner withdraw partially, then attempt re-entry going deeper with each stroke.

It Seems Like You’re Ready

If at any time during anal sex, you feel extreme pain or discomfort, STOP.  That is your body telling you that you are at risk for damage.  Let your partner know that you need a break.  Take some time, and when you are ready, add more lube and go for it.  embracedesires.com does not endorse desensitizing products for anal sex.

Now that you have the basic tips for great anal sex, experiment with different sex positions.

We aren’t alone in our excitement of anal sex. The people at Kinkly.com have something to say about great anal sex positions. We’ve shared a couple of our favorite and amazing sex positions with you.

Missionary

You get to look into your lovers eyes while they prepare to enter to enter you from the back, except you are watching their facial expressions. That’s HOT! Relax. Rub on your clit for an incredible experience. In the missionary positions, your back gets curved, making it easier to enter the rectum as it straightens out.

Face Down, A$$ Up!

Ah yes, the classic doggy style position for anal sex. Not only does he get an amazing view of you spread open with his manhood entering you, but in this position, the G-Spot gets an extra treat as it is easier to hit and he gets to go deeper. Yasss, honey!


Most importantly, be safe, be creative any time you are engaging in any sexual act. Make love fun. Incorporating lube and toys can be a fun and sensual accessory to your ana lovemaking experience.

Indulge your passions. Embrace your desires.

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