With most couples sex is a very important part of the relationship, as well as where the sex takes place. Many people like to be adventurous and try new things and new places. That was great before careers, cameras, and kids came into the picture. Now, in our adult reality, we all know the most intercourse between couples takes place in the bedroom. So get ready to be a better lover, because we are about to help you get rid of the clutter!
Your bedroom should be an inviting playroom for sex.image courtesy of AdobeStock
When you look at your bedroom what do you see? Exercise equipment that has turned into a coat rack? Children’s toy’s and other clutter that is preventing you from being the best lover .
What about that brand new flat screen tv? While all of these things may seem like creature comforts, they are actually mental distractions to what could be amazing, mind blowing sex!
If clothes make the man, then his living space should also be indicative of who he is as well. If you’ve ever visited a potential lover’s house, only to discover that the place is a mess, guess what…Big Turn Off! Dirty dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, or worse, critters — roaches, rodents, even the occasional filthy roommate is a big no no.
Your(potential) lover could be the sexiest man alive (Hi Idris Elba), but if that living space is a wreck, you’ve just ruined your chance at intimacy.
There really is something sexy about visiting someone’s home for the first time in anticipation of getting laid.
But, your partner can’t relax in a messy place.
A few tips to tidy up your place to make sure you are the best lover possible.
Fumigate – If you know that those crawling, disgustingly unwelcome guests (we’re not talking about your roommate) in your house always make an appearance when you are trying to get lucky, and if time time permits, call an exterminator – or just do it yourself
Dust – Believe it or not, dust collects EVERY day. Dust the baseboards, TV’s, counters and your dresser. it will make a huge difference.
Organize – Put away all of your clothes. If they don’t fit in your closetor dresser where the doors/drawers can close, invest in storage containers to fit your adult lifestlye.
Aromatics – We are visual creatures, yes, but there is nothing more stimulating to the senses than the olfactory delight of a sophisticated and seductive scent to tantalize and entice your lover. Light a candle and set the mood. Inhale the sensual bouquet and watch the mesmerizing flicker of the flame as your guest warms up to you even more.
We want to hear from you! Tell us in the comments how you make your room attractive to a potential lover.
Share Your Thoughts – Open Up with Embracedesires.com
I am opening up because I need an answer. Where are the good men? I meet a potential mate, but then somewhere, early on, things don’t seem to work. Help me figure this one out.
Q: I keep falling for the same type of guy? I’m educated, I have a great career, but I still find myself with the same type of man who loves me, then leaves me. I have a college degree, am established in my career and I know what I want in a man. A man who is educated, single, no drama, earns more than I do, and knows how to pamper a woman. What is wrong with me? Am I asking for too much?
A: Man! oh man, are we all too familiar with THIS scenario. First off, the good men ARE out there. It’s how you present yourself initially that determines how you will be treated. You sometimes have to fall back in your interactions with men. Men don’t always want an independent woman who not only knows that she is independent, but embraces her independence. What would he be needed for if a woman touts her accomplishments but doesn’t allow the man to lead, in the traditional sense. If all you want is attention, you don’t need a man, you need a pet.
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If you’ve been with your partner for years, then you know how easy it is to fall out of like (or even love) with them. You probably fell into the same old mundane routine that most long-term committed couples go through:
Wake up, go to work, come home, eat (maybe you have dinner together, maybe not). It’s easy to feel disconnected from your partner after you have put in time together.
Look inside of your soul for the person you loved. Reconnect with your partner, and remember how pleasurable they once were, just by using your senses.
When it comes to reconnecting with your mate you want to:
Start with a gentle touch. Caress your lover with long sensual strokes up and down the curves of their body. Feel how wonderful their skin feels against tips of your fingers.
Embrace your partner as if it is the first time the two of you have been together. Pull your lover closer to you, as if you never want to let them go.
Use your tongue and taste their flesh. Allow your lips to ever so gently graze theirs, while you drink in the sweet saltiness of their essence.
Inhale your partners fragrance. Burrow your nose deeply into them and enjoy their aura. Your love is better than the fragrance of your perfume.
Look at how beautiful you are in your lovers’ eyes! Gaze at your partner. Look into their soul and be reminded of how you once felt and relax knowing that the fire is still there for you.
When it comes to satisfying your mate, their pleasure should be your #1 priority. No need to wait for February to display love and affection on Valentine’s day when you automatically get more days in September. Celebrate Pleasure Your Mate Month in September, for more time to bump and grind.
We, at embracedesires.com want to make sure that you have what you need to give your mate as much pleasure as they can enjoy, not just for a month, but all year round.
New Positions
Missionary style sex positions have been performed since you first lost your virginity; at least that is true for us. Break away from ordinary vanilla sex: Try a new position to reignite passion. Embrace the sensual creature that is within you. It is easy to add mystery and intrigue into your bedroom romp. Get some position inspiration from Cosmo’s 28 Mind-Blowing Lesbian Sex Positions, or simply climb on top of your lover, and just as he gazes into your beautiful eyes thinking that he will be entering you while you eyes are locked on each other, turn your body facing away from him giving him a full and wondrous view of all of that junk in your trunk – yes, show off your Badonk! He’ll enjoy a handful of your booty as you ride him Reverse Cowgirl style. Yee Haw!
Talk That Talk
Technology has made it challenging to engage in stimulating conversations. Use the advancements that are already at your fingertips. Send a flirty text, “I’m thinking of you..guess what I’m doing” or for a more dirty text, send the following, “I need to fuck you“, to your partner. If time and opportunity allows, Face Time your mate, Android users will have to go for video chat, in the nude and let them watch you fondle yourself or perform a strip tease. Don’t have the time to chat? Send them a sultry picture message, don’t worry about prying eyes, there are plenty of apps that can delete your picture and message after it’s sent.
Different Locations
The bedroom is usually the most convenient location to make love. You wake up horny, roll over and jump on your partner. Change the ambiance if the bedroom is your only option. Do something out of the ordinary. Pleasure your partner with the lights on if the lights are usually off. Notice the sweat dripping from your partner’s skin. ooh, yes…You did that! How’s that for arousal?
Be Aware of Your Surroundings
When you are ready and able to try different locations for your sexual encounters, release your inhibitions and accept your adventurous self (be mindful of any local indecency laws in your area). Try this: Go out for a nice evening –sans panties of course, seize the opportunity for a quick scandalous tryst in a public bathroom, outside, alongside a building, on an empty train car, or a park.
If you are more of an indoors type of lover, ride your mate once you park your car in the garage, or other safe location. But hurry before the parking attendant comes checking on you. If you have a garage attached to your home, you are in luck, because you can just get it in your own garage.
When you finally make it home, you can engage in coitus UN-interruptus right there on the stairs. If you live in an apartment building, you have the heightened adrenaline rush of your neighbors walking up or down the stairs and getting a glimpse of you mid stroke.
Car
Damn those comfy bucket seats that cradles you oh so nicely! They are not the most sex friendly, we know. No one likes having the gearshift pressing so hard against their flesh that it leaves you numb, or your ass honking the horn when it gets sooo good. So it’s climbing into the backseat you two go. (That’s why pick-up trucks were really made).
Because Toys, ARE Us!
“Love has no limits (but it does have a safe word)”.
Forget sending roses to turn on your partner. Surprise your loved one with a set of sexy restraints made from luxurious sensual silk. The decadent feel of soft, smooth fabric against her skin as you bind her hands is intoxicating. Make your lover your sex slave, even if it is only for the night. Remember your safe word. Once you have your partner tied up, reach for a powerful, yet quiet vibrator and stimulate her clitoris, varying the intensity. Ladies, you can blindfold you man and slip a comfortable ring on his (no, not his finger) already stiffening manhood and enjoy his cockiness.
Pleasuring your partner made easy, by embracedesires.com 😉
Share Your Thoughts – Open Up with Embracedesires.com
So we’ve been asked this question by more than one person and realized that it needed an answer. While we are not psychiatrists, nor are we psychologists, we do have a bit of experience in relationships.
You can always open up with us.
Q: I’m a woman in her mid twenties and was asked by this guy that I just started seeing (we haven’t even had sex yet but he had the nerve to ask) how many sexual partners have I had. I thought that was an inappropriate and invasive question and I stop talking to him. Am I overreacting? I don’t think that is any of his business.
A: In this day and age of increasing cases of H.I.V., and other STI’s on the rise, it is important to have the discussion of previous partners and past sexual activity. That being said, disclosure of past exposures or contractions of STI’s should be a conversation to have with any potential partner before you become intimate. It is the responsible thing to do.
Tell us what you think this woman should do. Is she being immature for cutting this guy off?
Pressed or caressed the right way, a woman can be transported to such ecstasy, that for a few seconds, the rest of the world ceases to exist. But get it wrong and pain, frustration, or dull nothingness can ensue. It’s a stark contrast to a man’s experience; so long as they can get an erection, a few minutes of vigorous stimulation generally results in ejaculation.
The big O! The great climax moment that you hear about, read about, and sometimes, dream about. The Mystery of the Female Orgasm doesn’t have to be out of your reach any longer.
When trying to bring her to her peak of climax, pay attention to little tell tale signs about her body. When pleasuring your woman ask yourself these questions. Is she becoming more relaxed and tense at the same time? Is she becoming more vocal? Chances are, as long as you are someone that she knows and is interested in, she is about to have an orgasm.
flog [flog, flawg]
verb (used with object), flogged, flogging.
To beat with a whip, stick, etc., usually in the BDSM lifestyle as punishment; whip; scourge.
We’ve been asked, “if they do the same thing, what is the difference between whips and floggers and how do I know which one is right for me”?
In a nutshell, a whip is a general, umbrella term that covers many sub- categories: Canes, floggers, crops, paddles, and whips. The main difference in these subcategories is in their flexibility. Canes , crops, and paddles are typically inflexible objects made from solid materials like wood, steel, or even bamboo, but floggers and whips are much more flexible.
They are all designed to strike or inflict pain upon the recipient. Both floggers and whips come in a wide variety of materials: leather, faux leather, chains, rubber, fake fur, pretty much any material that can move freely with a flick of your arm.
Keep in mind, that floggers typically have multiple tails or strands (usually more than nine). And whips generally have a single tail or strand.
The main difference between being flogged and whipped is in your stance.
The sound achieved from flogging can sound like a thud and you can enjoy a stinging sensation which can be described as being as soft as a feather to being as sharp as a knife cutting your skin.
Whichever striking method you choose, always remember to have a safe word so your partner can go as intense as you can handle and a safe word to know when to ease back.
Ahh, Valentines Day; a day devoted to displays of affection. Yet it can be a depressingly heart-wrenching day of the year if you are not in a passionate relationship. Uggh. You wish there was a magic spell to cast for finding true love and happiness.
“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” — Ann Landers
You’ve done it all. Blind dates, supermarket stakeouts, and the online dating scene, yet you still strike out when it comes to finding l’amour. We go to extremes trying to attract the perfect mate: tucking things, plucking thing, taping things, dying and frying things to get that special someone to notice you. It’s frustrating to say the least. What’s worse is that even the mean cross-eyed receptionist in the doctors office is now engaged.
Your last resort would be to try and conjure up a love spell. Do they work? Who knows.
Take heart. Love requires planning and maneuvering. Now is the time that you take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself, what signals am I sending out?
But before you cross the enchanted bridge and begin to entice the divine powers, envision the person you want to become in order to attract the love that you want.
Light a soft pink candle.
Relax in a tub filled with sea salt and essential oils, like chamomile, Jasmine, lavender, rosemary, or rose.
Visualize white light surrounding you and begin meditating on how you can improve yourself.
Cover your bed in red or pink petals, and enjoy all of you, that you have to offer.
We’ve done crazy things to invoke the love goddess and did everything we could to welcome Cupid into our life. What have you done to attract love? Tell us:
Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time 