Life is a lot like toilet paper.  You’re either on a roll, or taking shit from some asshole

The pressure is on, I fear I might leak.
A bush or toilet is what I seek.
Don’t make me laugh or sit on my belly,
And having to hold it makes my legs jelly.
Don’t make sounds of water or don’t even tickle
Or I may dance in pain or let out a trickle.

As necessary as going to the bathroom to relieve yourself may be, you may be disturbed to know that almost all toilet paper has formaldehyde and chlorine residue on them.

Do you want your bottom to smell like formaldehyde, the chemical that is used in some funeral homes to embalm the deceased?  We don’t.