We still have discussions about it even to this day. What is the one complaint that men have when it comes to receiving oral sex? This topic even had a few us girls at happy hour wondering if we were performing it perfectly (we all think we are Super Duper at it) or are our partners just there for the ride. So we’ve asked a few real men in our Facebook page what would be the perfect way for a woman to perform fellatio. The top complaint men had were TEETH. Do people still have problems buffering those pearly whites? Apparently so. So here’s what the fellas are saying:
Watch your teeth! Must you still be reminded? OK. Many people don’t like to have their sensitive skin scraped against when they are in the throes of passion. Here’s a tip to prevent grinding against your partners magic stick. Let your mouth fill with spit (yes the wetter, the better). Pull your lips under your teeth as if you need to shave your upper lip and go down, down baby.
Offer to give head – Be warned: You must be confident to do this. Confidence is sexy. Although this may seem simple enough to do, but a lot of men still feel like they have to ask for oral pleasure. Besides, when you’re exceptional at your talents, show off! Who can turn down a great offer.
Take it to the top – The head of the penis is extremely sensitive. Use your tongue to firmly caress the entire bulbous mound. Unlike some women who prefer a gentle approach, men tend to prefer a more vigorous touch.
Juggling acts belong in the circus – But ball juggling in the bedroom is ok. Just be easy on his nuts. We hear they are very sensitive. You can gently, and we cannot stress this enough, gently massage his balls with your hands (this is the juggling part), but too much and you may find your aggressive attempt at seduction leaving your partner quivering in pain. Think more like shifting his balls in one hand.
Please keep your hands inside the ride When you have the skill to delicately massage his balls in your mouth, remember to stroke the shaft. Keep your well lubricated hands all over him.
Send a bing-bong to his ding dong. When you have him inside of your hot, wet mouth make some noise. No, not any kind of noise. Don’t worry about what your mother said about making noise while you have something in your mouth. Make a delicious sound of slurping and humming and moaning you get while you are licking and sucking. Wait, we need a break… Ok, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, you want your partner into it, so you need to be into it as well. A nice hum from your mouth while performing oral sex can simulate the gentle vibration he would get from a male vibrator.
Go for a happy ending. Put it in your mouth. Not into swallowing your partner’s load? Play with his cum in your mouth. Blow big semen filled bubbles. Or let him release himself on you. It’s like they get to see their hot naughty fluids for the first time.
BONUS: Rub it in. Go on, rub his semen on you. Using his semi erect penis, massage all of his creamy semen all over your face. This bold seductive act shows him that you love every inch of him. If you’re daring, you can even lightly tap your face if he is still leaking to get every last drop
Sharing is caring. Share your blow job tips with us.
Female ejaculation is still a hot button topic as demonstrated by the response to the research study just published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine that was then misappropriated by the popular website I Fucking Love Science.
In the 90s when “female ejaculation” became “a thing” I questioned the use of the word “female”. Why is it not just ejaculation? Why do we need the female modifier, as if it’s a lesser version of the “real thing”? People with penises ejaculate. People with vulvas ejaculate. People ejaculate as a sexual response to things that make them feel good. At the end of the day, that’s what is most important.
It’s called “female” because many people find it incomprehensible that men and women—people with all matter of genitalia—ejaculate. Some seem to maintain that ejaculation shall remain a marvel of man, untouchable and unachievable by the ladies.
It got to a point where women who ejaculate were making videos teaching other women how to do it. The pressure was on. And that’s exactly what we don’t need. But well-meaning female ejaculators wanted more women to experience the gush.
Studies have been done in order to figure out just what this “female ejaculate” that so-called squirters propel into the faces and eyes of their beloveds is made of. The Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers published their groundbreaking book A New View of a Woman’s Body in 1991 because they were done with the male bias in research that had rendered us disabled in our scientific information about female sexuality. They did their own dissections and renamed many female genital parts based on that research. Other small-scale studies have been done examining female ejaculate, which Rebecca Chalker outlines in The Clitoral Truth.
The recent study is no different. It’s small. It’s not a significant sample (7 women to be exact), and there is bias in the way the findings are discussed. But we love pop science and IFLS put out a headline that even the research didn’t state: “Study Concludes That Women Who Squirt During Sex Are Actually Peeing.” Nope. That’s not what the research says. It says urine is “indicated”. Along with prostatic fluid. Yep, female bodies make that too.
Sex Educator and Nurse-Midwife Sheri Winston proposes that female ejaculation is antimicrobial and designed to keep potential infection-producing agents out of the urethra.Given that women often get UTIs from sex it makes a whole lot of sense that our body would have a function to prevent infections that can cause dangerous kidney and full-body infections. Our bodies are amazing with immunity. Where’s the research on that? It’s a really good research question.
Let’s break down what’s really important about “female ejaculation”.
Number one: There is not nearly enough real science about healthy sexuality because healthy sexuality will never fill the pockets of big pharma. Our science on female sexuality is light years behind the science of male sexuality because it doesn’t get funded. Unless there is a sexual “dysfunction” involved that might require some pills—or that we could spin so people think they need more pills.
Two:Ejaculation is real in both males and females. Women report ejaculating and indeed it has been documented in old Chinese texts, The Kama Sutra, and by Aristotle. It’s not new and it’s not a myth. Ask any woman who experiences it. Seriously, why are some folks so avidly trying to discredit the ejaculate? #Ejaculatehappens
Three: Regardless of the content of the fluid, which does contain prostatic fluid from the paraurethral and Skene’s glands, it results from a sexual event. Calling it “bedwetting” or attempting to shame women because it contains urine is totally dismissive of the arousal that creates it. Amy Luna Manderino of the Sex Evolutionproposes we call it an “orgasmic flush.” This highlights the fact that sexual arousal produces the fluid. It is also likely that ejaculation has a function, as Winston purports.
Four: Women don’t need to feel pressure to ejaculate. We’ve got enough pressure about sex. If things are working and you are having pleasure, enjoy it. And if it’s important to you to learn this sex skill, then go to a workshop or check out the “How to Female Ejaculate” video and have at it. Avoid concluding that something about you is inadequate if you don’t seem to ejaculate. You could be You could be ejaculating in small amounts that are harder to detect or maybe you don’t. What’s important is that you are happy with your sexual functioning. Keep the pressure off.
If you are a woman who does ejaculate, please don’t let this poorly done research and research reporting shame you into holding back or altering how you come. If it feels good, enjoy it. Ejaculate is not the same as urine and even if it were? Urine is mostly water. If you ejaculate, fantastic. Keep having those orgasmic flushes and enjoy the ride.
Amy Jo Goddard is a Sexual Empowerment Coach who thrives on helping people have the delicious sex and relationships they desire. With 20 years of experience in the sexuality field, she works virtually with private clients, and holds sumptuous VIP Days in the beautiful Napa Valley. She facilitates a 9-month unique Women’s Sexual Empowerment Program where women have opportunities to deeply explore, heal and celebrate their sexuality and desire. Amy Jo travels as a speaker, and teaches classes that help people connect to their sexuality, make more money, and enjoy greater abundance and pleasure in their lives. She is working on a forthcoming book about sexual empowerment and writes about practical, real-world sexuality at amyjogoddard.com. You can subscribe to her weekly ezine to receive her sexual empowerment articles and videos, and for information on upcoming classes & trainings.
People, people, people! When you are trying to figure out how to give a man a blow job like a pro, there are some basic techniques that you want to follow. Too many people get caught up in the act of giving head that they forget that they can use the ENTIRE MOUTH: tongue, lips and teeth (only gently). Become familiar with your man’s entire shaft. Massage him completely with your tongue. Hold his penis with a firm grip starting from the base and begin to really show it some attention. Lick and kiss all over your man, tracing the full length of his manhood with your lips and tongue.
But that’s not all, there is more to expertly giving head than just holding your man in your mouth and sucking. Discover some important how to tips on how to satisfy your man with an impressive oral sex performance.
Watch your attitude! It’s blow job basics to love a cheerful giver, so be generous and get into the spirit of giving when you’re about to give a man a blow job.
Offer to give head – Be warned: You must be confident to do this. Confidence is sexy. Although this may seem simple enough to do, a lot of men say that they lose interest in a woman if they have to ask for oral pleasure. So, step up to the mic and tell your man, “drop your pants and gimme 10!” (inches, that is). Besides, when you’re exceptional at your talents, show off! Who can turn down a great offer.
Watch your mouth! Most men don’t like to have their sensitive skin scraped by sharp teeth when they are in the throes of passion. Here’s a tip to prevent grinding against your partners magic stick. Let your mouth fill with spit (yes the wetter, the better).
Really stretch your mouth open as if to make a big O with your lips. Take him inside of your mouth and suck him in. Use your cheek muscles to get the perfect suction and go down, down baby.
Take it to the top – The head of the penis is extremely sensitive. Use your tongue to firmly caress the entire bulbous mound, then take him in and give him your best wet oral performance. Unlike some women who prefer a gentle approach, men tend to prefer a more vigorous touch.
Bouncing Balls – Be easy on his balls (the nut sack or scrotum). The testes are very sensitive. Tenderly, squeeze his testicles either with your mouth or your hands by cupping them. Gently, and we cannot stress this enough, gently massage his balls, but too much and you may find your aggressive attempt at seduction leaving your partner quivering in pain.
When you have the skill to delicately massage his balls in your mouth, remember to stroke the shaft. Keep your well lubricated hands all over him. He’s going to be more receptive to you at this time.
Send a bing-bong to his ding dong. Once you have him inside the depth of your mouth, send him a message via sound and vibration. Make some Noise!!!! No, not any kind of noise. Don’t worry about what your mother said about making noise while you have something in your mouth. Savor the flavor of your partner. Make a delicious sound of slurping and humming and moaning while you are licking and sucking. Wait, we need a break… Ok, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, you want your partner into it, so you need to be into it as well. A nice hum from your mouth while performing oral sex can simulate the gentle vibration he would get from a mini vibrator.
Go for a happy ending. Put it in your mouth. Not into swallowing your partner’s load? Play with his cum in your mouth. Blow big semen filled bubbles. Or let him release himself on you. Embrace the milky shower your partner shared with you.
BONUS: Rub it in. Go on, rub his semen on you. Using his semi erect penis, massage all of his creamy semen all over your face. This bold seductive act shows him that you love every inch of him. If you’re daring, you can even lightly tap your face if he is still leaking to get every last drop
Cherry blossoms – a symbol of new beginnings, feminine dominance and beauty
It’s that time again and with the New Year upon us, the New Year brings new things! So many people say “new year, new me” because you get 365 new days to reset the clock and live the life you have always wanted to live! For the New Year, remember to include resolutions to improve your relationship.
Don’t waste another day–in fact, don’t waist another moment! It isn’t necessary to wait for the beginning of the year to start afresh. As a matter of fact, start now! Decide that today is the day and now is the time to focus on enhancing the best you that there is to make you happy and your relationship thrive.
Starting a new workout regimen is great for the new year. When incorporating your workout schedule into your daily life, consider ways to plan for a sex-sational New Year and New You! While you’re pushing yourself to go harder in the gym, think about how much sexier you will look during your orgasms. Yes, yes, and oh yes! More orgasms can improve your physical, mental and emotional health! When you embrace your passionate self, you open the door to undiscovered desires.
Set aside some quiet time to connect with the intellectual beauty that you are, either alone or with your partner. Meditation is great to relieve stress while allowing you to experience a more intimate connection with your lover without penetration.
While lying in bed together, face each other and entwine your legs so the legs are resting scissor style with one another and allow his genitals to rest on her genitals. Relax, breathe deep, and focus on the space the two of you are sharing for a few moments.
Make your workout, part of foreplay
It’s the beginning of the New Year! Let your inhibitions down and like the athletic giant says, “Just Do It”, but do it together! Look at that body! See how hard your partner is working on developing strength and muscles? Yes, now imagine those ripped abs and muscular chest sweating all over your body. Shoot a few knowing glances at your partner. Let him know that after this workout, there will be a post workout at home (unless you can sneak a tryst in on the way). According to Dr. Laura Berman, a leading sex and relationship therapist on OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, make a resolution to stay open to the promise of sex even if you aren’t immediately in the mood. Kiss your partner, enjoy his touches, and let your mind delve into fantasy. Stay open to sex and tune into the pleasure of being touched and kissed. You will likely find that your body responds and that you are in the mood after all!
Have more sex, more often. Depending on your sex position, experts say 30 minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. (Ladies, you will burn more calories during sex when you are on top). It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Wow! Orgasm plus weight loss! Yeah, that is a workout by itself!
Spice things up
February is the shortest month to try something new! Think of the freakiest thing you’ve ever wanted to try and go for it! Try a new sex toy – Need a bit of inspiration? Check out Embracedesires.comto get started. Do you want to be restrained? Has the book series50 Shades of Grey left you wanting to channel your inner Anastasia? You must tell your partner what interests you! Say, “Spank Me”. Be bold and daring, either way, tell your partner. Write it down and leave it as a little love note or, if you can’t leave an actual note, send a text message. Life is too short. Be as uninhibited as you desire with your lover! And oh, have fun with it!
As an added bonus, having sex may be good for your heart. A 20-year-long British study shows that men who had sex twice or more a week were half as likely to have a fatal heart attack than men who had sex less than once a month.
Spend Time Getting to Know What YOU Like
As the old saying goes, “how are you going to love someone if you can’t love yourself” – ok so we paraphrased a bit. Really get to know the one person you’ve been with your entire life! Self-stimulation is a normal, healthy and a wonderful way to get in touch with your hot spots. Be sure to have clean hands and use a high quality lube when pleasuring yourself to make each stroke wonderful. Once you’ve become familiar with what you like, go for mutual masturbation. Simultaneously, stimulate each other. For a unique and erotic experience, stimulate each other without penetration and see who comes to climax first. Winner gets to dominate. For stimulation without risk of a fatigued hand, use vibrating toys just grab the batteries or make sure everything is clean and charged, for clitoral and g-spot stimulation. Men can benefit from the use of a onacup (male masturbation sleeve) with a vibrating bullet. If you don’t know how to love yourself, nobody else will…
What better way to reduce stress than making yourself happy. Natural endorphins released during self-stimulating pleasure can improve your overall mood by improved circulation and relieving stress.
Be Bold and Daring in the Bedroom
Let’s get to the bottom of anal sex and straight men. Many straight guys have preconceived notions about anal play. Mainly, if you derive pleasure from anal stimulation, you must somehow be gay. Guys, you can still have the raging heterosexuality of an NFL offensive line and explore your all of your erogenous zones. The anus is full of sensitive nerve tissue that, when stimulated can bring immense pleasure. Sexual orientation doesn’t change based on pleasure zones. We recommend that you start by experimenting with a well silicone – lubed finger. If you are worried about residue, wear sterile gloves, and then lube your finger with a quality silicone lube. When you and your partner are ready, then you can graduate to anal plugs. Anal plugs with a flare at the end are best if you want to avoid a trip to the ER…”uh, Doc, I was reading this blog a few hours ago and…, well you get the idea. We highly suggest the use of silicone-based lubricants for pleasure during anal sex. The silicone will not be absorbed into your skin as would water-based lubes thus reducing friction and increasing pleasure. Word to the wise – START OFF SLOW! Your ass isn’t going anywhere! If it hurts, take a break.
Having sex, whether anal or vaginal, boosts your immunity. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.
But, What Does That Mouth Do?
Give your partner mind-blowing pleasure throughout the year. Dedicate a time to perfecting your oral skills. Oral sex is one of the most delightful ways couples can give each other pleasure without saying a word. Many men are fans of blow jobs as it gives them intense sexual sensations and can bring him to a pretty intense orgasm. To make him go weak at the knees, when giving him a blow job linger on the parts of his anatomy that are particularly sensitive – the tip of his penis, his testicles and his perineum – the secret spot between the testicles and the anus. To really turn him on, include a quiet, yet powerful vibrating toy in your oral play. Then, blindfold him and tie him up. Gently place the toy under his scrotum (the balls) before you go down on him, then deep throat your man. Ladies, this make him moan with pleasure!
Some studies suggest that women love receiving oral sex also. We have to agree. In fact, 30 to 50 percent of women say they can’t reach an orgasm through intercourse alone. A woman’s clitoris is the most pleasure-sensitive part of her vagina and that’s where you’ll want to devote your attention. In fact, the tiny little clitoris has more sensory nerve endings than the entire penis! Stimulating your partner’s vulva, clitoris and entrance to the vagina using your tongue, lips and mouth will drive her wild, resulting in a super intense orgasm! So, relax and share the pleasure – both giving and receiving to experience a new dimension of sensuality…mmh, mmmh, good!
Why Not Improve Your Mood
Orgasms increase estrogen and endorphin levels which makes you feel good and naturally improves your mood.
Cock Ring 101. Intense Orgasms, Look Bigger. Yes, A Cock Ring Will Do That for YOU!
If you or your man ever wanted to experience more intense orgasms, he should wear a cock ring. Here are some basic rules why a man should wear a cock ring. Some men who have never worn a cock ring before (gasp! I know) wonder why should they. We are here to give you reasons why you should wear a cock ring.
Cock rings are designed to maintain erections and possibly create more intense orgasms. They are worn around the base of the penis, or around the penis and testicles, and restrict the blood flow from leaving the penis. Awesome, Right? Cock rings can also be a fun and exciting addition to anyone’s sex life, whether with a parnter or flying solo.
But you want us to tell you WHY you should wear a cock ring? What are good reasons to wear one. Ok, read on…
They feel good. It’s almost like the penis and testicles have a firm grip around them.
It can make the penis look – dare we say – BIGGER and maybe even LONGER
Cock rings can help the man who has trouble staying hard.
Gives you more intense orgasms. Gives you longer, firmer erections.
Now for some of the fun stuff. Do you know that there is a method to measuring yourself or your man for the perfect fit? Yes! Just as women need to be sized for the perfect engagement/wedding ring, men should be properly fitted for a cock ring.
To find the right ring size, take a piece of string (the same way if you needed to sneak at finding her ring size) and wrap it around the base of an ERECT penis, giving you the circumference. For rings worn around the penis and testicles, measure and wrap around behind
the testicles and as close to the body as you can while the penis is ERECT for the circumference. Because ring sizes are given in diameter, you will need to divide this number by Pi (3.14 – don’t worry if you were cutting class that day, we will help you figure it out).
For example: If the penis measures 6″ ÷ 3.14 =1.91. You will need a ring that is smaller that 1.91″ but within .25″ – .5″ to ensure a comfortable fit without constricting too much.
STYLE OF COCK RING
The style of the cock ring that you select should have a firm enough grip around the penis to restict blood flow, yet comfortable enough so that it does not completely cut blood circulation of entirely.
PUTTING ON A COCK RING
Adjustable cock rings can be put on any time during an erection by simply strething or strapping the ring so that it fits snuggly around the base of the penis or behind the testicles. Since they are flexible, they can also be removed easily at any time.
Firm non-adjustable rings:
Always start with a flaccid (non erect) penis
Holding the ring under the testicles, insert one at a time
Pull the penis through the ring and adjust for comfort.
To remove the ring, the penis must be flaccid, and simply reverse the process.
HOW LONG SHOULD I WEAR A COCK RING?
To prevent damage or bruising to the penis, a ring should not completely restrict the blood flow for longer than 20 minutes at a time. If discomfort is felt at any time, the ring should be removed as quickly and gently as possible.
We are pleased to offer both Adjustable and Non Adjustable style cock rings in a variety of materials. Visit our Men’s Store to find cock rings, penis jewelry and other sensual accessories just for men at The Men’s Store
Adjustable – great for beginners. They allow the user to experience what a penis ring can offer, while being able to remove them quickly if the sensations become too intense. These styles can be worn at the base of the penis or behind the testicles.
Non-Adjustable – Firm ring that have little or no flexibility for more advanced users who have experimented with rings before and are familiar with how intense the sensations can get. These are usually worn behind the testicles.
One of the interesting things about working with the embracedesires team, besides discovering new and exciting playthings for our boudoirs, would be our conversations. We recently talked about the variety of sex toys on the market and how improved they have become over the years. One of our friends joined the conversation and brought up the old, hard plastic and jelly-type dildos from decades ago (*gasp! Do people still use these?) and asked “Why doesn’t embracedesires carry them as a cheaper option for our consumers.” After being picked up off of the floor from passing out (OK, so we were a little bit dramatic), and with all of the glam and fabulosity of our inner drag queen, we said…
People care about what goes into their bodies and we’re not talking about calories.
That’s why the team at embracedesires.com follows the rule of Oh No, we don’t! We don’t carry cheap quality merchandise. Period. We don’t carry low-grade porous products. You won’t find those jiggly, wiggly jelly dongs or other silly “insertables” you often find at some adult parties. We don’t apologize for being adults who care.
Call us divas, but we have standards.
For one, we don’t carry products that contain potentially harmful chemicals, like phthalates.
We don’t carry products that remove sensation during sex. You are supposed to feel every delectable, nuance that being intimate offers. If, during sex, something hurts or you are uncomfortable doing something, stop doing it. It’s your body’s natural reaction to danger.
We only carry products from manufacturers that use high quality materials such as medical grade, body safe silicone, erotic glass, stainless steel, and yes, even wood. Many products found on our site are also free from parabens.
We tell you this to let you know: We do care. We care about you. That is why we offer high quality sensual products to enhance your sex life at affordable prices.
I had this wonderful realization about head. It is so much more enjoyable when you actually give a damn about the person (go figure)! I get quite turned on knowing that he is enjoying himself and I am the cause. He loves it especially when I venture down to his nether regions without him hinting, or asking, or begging or…you get the picture,
Back then, head was never a big deal to me, I was neither for or against it. I now find myself enjoying it more and more the longer he and I are together. In the bedroom– or any room we vacate at the moment– I immediately take charge, I usually switch up my methods of attack each time we do ”the do”, but slobbin’ the knob is one of the best ways to go!
Already confident in my technique (’cause practice makes perfect) I straddle him, and make sweet little trails of kisses, nips and nibbles downward til I reach my destination. I take him in my mouth all sexy like, looking at him, my eyes commanding his to watch me. I don’t do the spit thing like they do in porn, it grosses me out, however I do believe that dry or even a semi dry erection is horrible, so I let it sit in my mouth while it builds up saliva and I am literally SALIVATING over him. Once he’s nice and moist, I continue to go to work.
I make real good sloppy slurping noises, and moan like he is the most delicious thing I have ever tasted, but proceed with caution though, too much enthusiasm causes excitement and he will buck and thrust in your mouth (trust me) but remember, you’re in control, and you can nip that in the bud by placing a firm– not crushing– grip with your hand to remind him who’s boss.
And since we have now added the almighty hand into the equation, it would only be fair to call on a little teamwork. I keep my hand in a steady rhythm, not too fast, just enough to keep him vocal. Now that we’re in the rhythmic simualtion stage, my mouth becomes the most powerfully used in combination with my hand, with my attention mainly focused on the tip and the frenulum, the most sensitive part of the penis (on a side note ladies and maybe a few gentlemen: the frenulum is the thin. nerve-rich membrane that attaches- or – attached if he’s been circumsized – the foreskin to the head and shaft of the penis.)
I maintain my firm grip on the base and keep my lips over the tip, as I start working my head up and down over aforementioned frenulum, little known fact, but that action will naturally create suction. No need for deep throating here, cause that trick alone already has him jerking and twisting and stifling moans!
The moment of truth, he let’s me know he’s almost there and my pace doesn’t let up. Now many people don’t like it but as I mentioned before, I’ve come to enjoy pleasing him, so he let’s me have it, and I take it all in, and what really puts the nail on the coffin is to keep sucking for a few seconds after he’s finished, and looky, looky 8..9…10 DING it’s a knockout!