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Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

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relationship

Why Your Relationship Isn’t As Good As it Used to Be (the 4th one is BIG)

What the fuck are you thinking?  We have all had that moment in our relationship, a time or two, that makes you wonder why your relationship isn’t as good as it used to be. But I am starting to believe that men are simple and they forget about the four F’s.

FAMILY

FOOD

FINANCES

FUCKING

Not necessarily in that order…

Okay, I contend that the same effing things hold true for women.  Depending on which F is the most significant determines what things we are willing to compromise on and when.  I admit in my secret heart of hearts that I may or may not always place FAMILY at the top.  In my defense, the way that I think — if I’m good with the other three F’s, then my family will be taken care of and my house will be in order.

Family 

Family first and Family over everything, right? Well, sometimes.  You want to make sure that you aren’t in a relationship with a momma’s boy or someone who has an already made family that they are extremely attached to.  Where would that leave you?  Find out in the early stages of dating where this person stands when it comes to their romantic life and whether or not they are able to include you.

Finances  

Have you heard the phrase, “no romance without finance”? Well nowadays, that’s even more applicable.  It’s all about the money, honey.  Don’t let anyone tell you that cash isn’t king.  You need money for everything.  Bills need to be paid, and every so often, you should enjoy a date night with your partner.  Now for all of the hopeless romantics out there, fuhgettabout living off of love.  I simply cannot function well if my money is not right.

Food

Feed my soul and my body.  The old adage is true,– the way to a (wo)man’s heart is through the stomach. I need enough to fuel my body.  But the food you present to me must look good, smell great, and taste amazing.  Quite simply, I am not happy if my hunger isn’t satisfied. Don’t even think about trying to order some dollar menu meal and think it’s okay.  Who wants to fuck while your belly growls from hunger?

Fornication

I cannot think straight if I am not regularly loved.  The human body is perfectly designed for pleasure as it is equipped with many erogenous zones for sensual arousal. Not to mention the fact that, when performed vigorously, sexual activity burns calories and releases happy, happy endorphins that we all need to get through this thing called life.

In essence, when it comes to the four F’s, men and women are pretty much the same creatures with different stripes. Embrace your own needs, so you can embrace your partner’s as well.

 

You Want More Ass? Tidy Up Your Place.

If clothes make the man, what does his living space say about him?  I’ve wondered this for a while.  Think about it, if you’ve ever visited a love interest who said all of the right things, smelled and looked great drove a clean looking ride, and when you get to where they live, you are turned off. The place looks a mess.  Wherever you look, you see dirty dishes/laundry/furniture/floor. There is an odor that gets caught in your throat.  You dodge vermin and yet they are so comfortable with living like a slob that they are not bothered by your discomfort, at all.  They could be the sexiest person on Earth, but if that place is a mess, it doesn’t matter how attractive looking they are, or anything — deals off, I’m out.

Trust me, I am in no way a Felix Unger, nor am I an Oscar Madison, but I do fall happily in the middle, keeping sure my place looks neat and lived in.  But what do you do when your potential partner’s place is so unkempt?  Do you stay and start to clean up? Or would you think of excuses to leave?

There really is something extra sexy when you visit someone’s home who you are interested in and discover that not only does it look nicely furnished, but it also smells nice.  It seems to make the sex incredibly better. Sex is sexier when the place is clean

Seems that I am not the only one who thinks this way.  I stumbled across this video recently and it pretty much summed up my thoughts.  If the living space is nice, oh yeah, you will be getting some ass.  But only if the place is nice.

Let’s be honest. If your place is nice, I’m giving up the ass

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