flog [flog, flawg]
verb (used with object), flogged, flogging.
To beat with a whip, stick, etc., usually in the BDSM lifestyle as punishment; whip; scourge.
We’ve been asked, “if they do the same thing, what is the difference between whips and floggers and how do I know which one is right for me”?
In a nutshell, a whip is a general, umbrella term that covers many sub- categories: Canes, floggers, crops, paddles, and whips. The main difference in these subcategories is in their flexibility. Canes , crops, and paddles are typically inflexible objects made from solid materials like wood, steel, or even bamboo, but floggers and whips are much more flexible.
They are all designed to strike or inflict pain upon the recipient. Both floggers and whips come in a wide variety of materials: leather, faux leather, chains, rubber, fake fur, pretty much any material that can move freely with a flick of your arm.
Keep in mind, that floggers typically have multiple tails or strands (usually more than nine). And whips generally have a single tail or strand.
The main difference between being flogged and whipped is in your stance.
The sound achieved from flogging can sound like a thud and you can enjoy a stinging sensation which can be described as being as soft as a feather to being as sharp as a knife cutting your skin.
Whichever striking method you choose, always remember to have a safe word so your partner can go as intense as you can handle and a safe word to know when to ease back.
Female ejaculation is still a hot button topic as demonstrated by the response to the research study just published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine that was then misappropriated by the popular website I Fucking Love Science.
In the 90s when “female ejaculation” became “a thing” I questioned the use of the word “female”. Why is it not just ejaculation? Why do we need the female modifier, as if it’s a lesser version of the “real thing”? People with penises ejaculate. People with vulvas ejaculate. People ejaculate as a sexual response to things that make them feel good. At the end of the day, that’s what is most important.
It’s called “female” because many people find it incomprehensible that men and women—people with all matter of genitalia—ejaculate. Some seem to maintain that ejaculation shall remain a marvel of man, untouchable and unachievable by the ladies.
It got to a point where women who ejaculate were making videos teaching other women how to do it. The pressure was on. And that’s exactly what we don’t need. But well-meaning female ejaculators wanted more women to experience the gush.
Studies have been done in order to figure out just what this “female ejaculate” that so-called squirters propel into the faces and eyes of their beloveds is made of. The Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers published their groundbreaking book A New View of a Woman’s Body in 1991 because they were done with the male bias in research that had rendered us disabled in our scientific information about female sexuality. They did their own dissections and renamed many female genital parts based on that research. Other small-scale studies have been done examining female ejaculate, which Rebecca Chalker outlines in The Clitoral Truth.
The recent study is no different. It’s small. It’s not a significant sample (7 women to be exact), and there is bias in the way the findings are discussed. But we love pop science and IFLS put out a headline that even the research didn’t state: “Study Concludes That Women Who Squirt During Sex Are Actually Peeing.” Nope. That’s not what the research says. It says urine is “indicated”. Along with prostatic fluid. Yep, female bodies make that too.
Sex Educator and Nurse-Midwife Sheri Winston proposes that female ejaculation is antimicrobial and designed to keep potential infection-producing agents out of the urethra.Given that women often get UTIs from sex it makes a whole lot of sense that our body would have a function to prevent infections that can cause dangerous kidney and full-body infections. Our bodies are amazing with immunity. Where’s the research on that? It’s a really good research question.
Let’s break down what’s really important about “female ejaculation”.
Number one: There is not nearly enough real science about healthy sexuality because healthy sexuality will never fill the pockets of big pharma. Our science on female sexuality is light years behind the science of male sexuality because it doesn’t get funded. Unless there is a sexual “dysfunction” involved that might require some pills—or that we could spin so people think they need more pills.
Two:Ejaculation is real in both males and females. Women report ejaculating and indeed it has been documented in old Chinese texts, The Kama Sutra, and by Aristotle. It’s not new and it’s not a myth. Ask any woman who experiences it. Seriously, why are some folks so avidly trying to discredit the ejaculate? #Ejaculatehappens
Three: Regardless of the content of the fluid, which does contain prostatic fluid from the paraurethral and Skene’s glands, it results from a sexual event. Calling it “bedwetting” or attempting to shame women because it contains urine is totally dismissive of the arousal that creates it. Amy Luna Manderino of the Sex Evolutionproposes we call it an “orgasmic flush.” This highlights the fact that sexual arousal produces the fluid. It is also likely that ejaculation has a function, as Winston purports.
Four: Women don’t need to feel pressure to ejaculate. We’ve got enough pressure about sex. If things are working and you are having pleasure, enjoy it. And if it’s important to you to learn this sex skill, then go to a workshop or check out the “How to Female Ejaculate” video and have at it. Avoid concluding that something about you is inadequate if you don’t seem to ejaculate. You could be You could be ejaculating in small amounts that are harder to detect or maybe you don’t. What’s important is that you are happy with your sexual functioning. Keep the pressure off.
If you are a woman who does ejaculate, please don’t let this poorly done research and research reporting shame you into holding back or altering how you come. If it feels good, enjoy it. Ejaculate is not the same as urine and even if it were? Urine is mostly water. If you ejaculate, fantastic. Keep having those orgasmic flushes and enjoy the ride.
Amy Jo Goddard is a Sexual Empowerment Coach who thrives on helping people have the delicious sex and relationships they desire. With 20 years of experience in the sexuality field, she works virtually with private clients, and holds sumptuous VIP Days in the beautiful Napa Valley. She facilitates a 9-month unique Women’s Sexual Empowerment Program where women have opportunities to deeply explore, heal and celebrate their sexuality and desire. Amy Jo travels as a speaker, and teaches classes that help people connect to their sexuality, make more money, and enjoy greater abundance and pleasure in their lives. She is working on a forthcoming book about sexual empowerment and writes about practical, real-world sexuality at amyjogoddard.com. You can subscribe to her weekly ezine to receive her sexual empowerment articles and videos, and for information on upcoming classes & trainings.
According to a new study conducted by British researchers, there’s a new truth about penis size.
A recent study published online March 2, 2015 in the British Journal of Urology International says you just may be one of the men with a big dick in a room, if you were to be standing in a room full of dicks.
Now you may not be as endowed as Jonah Falcon, the man with the largest penis, but chances are likely that you are now considered to be above average.
Remember the days of yore when you would use any device – your mothers’ sewing kit measuring tape, ruler, soda can just to name a few, to see how you measured up and compared yourself to the older boys?
Now that never-ending question of, “How Do I Measure Up”, has an answer. A real scientific answer. So get out your measuring devices and prepare to be amazed.
The average length of an erect penis is 5. 16 inches (13.12 centimeters) and the average circumference is 4.59 inches (11.66 centimeters), according to a new study of penis length involving over 15,000 men aged 17 – 91 from around the world.
When soft, the average man is 3. 16 inches ( 9.16 centimeters) in length. These volunteers were men who were previously measured in other studies in Europe, Asia, Africa and North America.
Gentlemen, we thank you for your hard work.
To be fair and honest, most of the participants were of European and Middle Eastern descent. And the study didn’t find evidence that penis size was linked to race. So if you think that there’s any truth to the “Big feet, Big meat” myth, sorry, the researchers didn’t find any convincing correlation between a man’s foot size and the size of his manhood either.
Ahh, Valentines Day; a day devoted to displays of affection. Yet it can be a depressingly heart-wrenching day of the year if you are not in a passionate relationship. Uggh. You wish there was a magic spell to cast for finding true love and happiness.
“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” — Ann Landers
You’ve done it all. Blind dates, supermarket stakeouts, and the online dating scene, yet you still strike out when it comes to finding l’amour. We go to extremes trying to attract the perfect mate: tucking things, plucking thing, taping things, dying and frying things to get that special someone to notice you. It’s frustrating to say the least. What’s worse is that even the mean cross-eyed receptionist in the doctors office is now engaged.
Your last resort would be to try and conjure up a love spell. Do they work? Who knows.
Take heart. Love requires planning and maneuvering. Now is the time that you take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself, what signals am I sending out?
But before you cross the enchanted bridge and begin to entice the divine powers, envision the person you want to become in order to attract the love that you want.
Light a soft pink candle.
Relax in a tub filled with sea salt and essential oils, like chamomile, Jasmine, lavender, rosemary, or rose.
Visualize white light surrounding you and begin meditating on how you can improve yourself.
Cover your bed in red or pink petals, and enjoy all of you, that you have to offer.
We’ve done crazy things to invoke the love goddess and did everything we could to welcome Cupid into our life. What have you done to attract love? Tell us:
Aprodisiac : n – arousing sexual desire. From the Greek word relating to love or desire.
Aphrodisiac drinks are a great way to add naturally stimulating ingredients to boost your libido. Adding alcohol to your libations help you relax and get you in the mood. Make a toast with that special someone, even if that special someone is YOU, with any one of these seductive concoctions. With ingredients like cardamom, ginger, these drinks are sure to arouse sexual desires.
How can a cocktail with this name not lead to success right?!? The first girl that doesn’t like chocolate, the main ingredient of this drink, probably still hasn’t been born. Chocolate is also a major aphrodisiac – just like cherries – and in combination with alcohol you have a dangerous weapon on your hands. Ingredients:
1.5 parts wild cherry infused vodka
1.5 part coconut flavored vodka
1.5 part dark chocolate liqueur
1 splash of chocolate syrup
cocoa powder Preparation: Put the vodka’s, chocolate and chocolate syrup in an iced shaker and shake it vigorously. Pour in a chocolate rimmed cocktail glass and add cocoa to the rim to finish this drink off.
How can you resist the alluring scent of cardamom? Cardamom is a nicely aromatic spice. In many cultures and mystic circles it is viewed as an intensely powerful aphrodisiac. These ingredients combined turn this sophisticated drink into a romantic soft pink shade.
Pour Honeymoon Honey Wine®, Premium Vodka and Two Dashes of Grenadine into a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice. Place the cherries into a chilled cocktail glass. Shake well and strain the honeymoon mixture
over the cherries. The Honeymoon Martini is Pink & Sweet
Honeymoon Honey Wine Martini
Looking for more? Check out these Libido Boosting Recipes to compliment your aphrodisiac drinks.
After all is said and done, remember, the best aphrodisiacs are words. Tell your significant other how much they mean to you.
Leave a comment below on your favorite aphrodisiac to get you in the mood.
People, people, people! When you are trying to figure out how to give a man a blow job like a pro, there are some basic techniques that you want to follow. Too many people get caught up in the act of giving head that they forget that they can use the ENTIRE MOUTH: tongue, lips and teeth (only gently). Become familiar with your man’s entire shaft. Massage him completely with your tongue. Hold his penis with a firm grip starting from the base and begin to really show it some attention. Lick and kiss all over your man, tracing the full length of his manhood with your lips and tongue.
But that’s not all, there is more to expertly giving head than just holding your man in your mouth and sucking. Discover some important how to tips on how to satisfy your man with an impressive oral sex performance.
Watch your attitude! It’s blow job basics to love a cheerful giver, so be generous and get into the spirit of giving when you’re about to give a man a blow job.
Offer to give head – Be warned: You must be confident to do this. Confidence is sexy. Although this may seem simple enough to do, a lot of men say that they lose interest in a woman if they have to ask for oral pleasure. So, step up to the mic and tell your man, “drop your pants and gimme 10!” (inches, that is). Besides, when you’re exceptional at your talents, show off! Who can turn down a great offer.
Watch your mouth! Most men don’t like to have their sensitive skin scraped by sharp teeth when they are in the throes of passion. Here’s a tip to prevent grinding against your partners magic stick. Let your mouth fill with spit (yes the wetter, the better).
Really stretch your mouth open as if to make a big O with your lips. Take him inside of your mouth and suck him in. Use your cheek muscles to get the perfect suction and go down, down baby.
Take it to the top – The head of the penis is extremely sensitive. Use your tongue to firmly caress the entire bulbous mound, then take him in and give him your best wet oral performance. Unlike some women who prefer a gentle approach, men tend to prefer a more vigorous touch.
Bouncing Balls – Be easy on his balls (the nut sack or scrotum). The testes are very sensitive. Tenderly, squeeze his testicles either with your mouth or your hands by cupping them. Gently, and we cannot stress this enough, gently massage his balls, but too much and you may find your aggressive attempt at seduction leaving your partner quivering in pain.
When you have the skill to delicately massage his balls in your mouth, remember to stroke the shaft. Keep your well lubricated hands all over him. He’s going to be more receptive to you at this time.
Send a bing-bong to his ding dong. Once you have him inside the depth of your mouth, send him a message via sound and vibration. Make some Noise!!!! No, not any kind of noise. Don’t worry about what your mother said about making noise while you have something in your mouth. Savor the flavor of your partner. Make a delicious sound of slurping and humming and moaning while you are licking and sucking. Wait, we need a break… Ok, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, you want your partner into it, so you need to be into it as well. A nice hum from your mouth while performing oral sex can simulate the gentle vibration he would get from a mini vibrator.
Go for a happy ending. Put it in your mouth. Not into swallowing your partner’s load? Play with his cum in your mouth. Blow big semen filled bubbles. Or let him release himself on you. Embrace the milky shower your partner shared with you.
BONUS: Rub it in. Go on, rub his semen on you. Using his semi erect penis, massage all of his creamy semen all over your face. This bold seductive act shows him that you love every inch of him. If you’re daring, you can even lightly tap your face if he is still leaking to get every last drop
I need to open up. My best friend is always in love with every man she gets with, we argue all the time that she doesn’t know what love is and that she’s in love with the idea of being in love. I don’t want our friendship to end, but we need help.
What should this person do? Open up to this person. Have you ever been in love with the idea of being in love? Are you the type of person to fall in love easily? Let us know.
Cherry blossoms – a symbol of new beginnings, feminine dominance and beauty
It’s that time again and with the New Year upon us, the New Year brings new things! So many people say “new year, new me” because you get 365 new days to reset the clock and live the life you have always wanted to live! For the New Year, remember to include resolutions to improve your relationship.
Don’t waste another day–in fact, don’t waist another moment! It isn’t necessary to wait for the beginning of the year to start afresh. As a matter of fact, start now! Decide that today is the day and now is the time to focus on enhancing the best you that there is to make you happy and your relationship thrive.
Starting a new workout regimen is great for the new year. When incorporating your workout schedule into your daily life, consider ways to plan for a sex-sational New Year and New You! While you’re pushing yourself to go harder in the gym, think about how much sexier you will look during your orgasms. Yes, yes, and oh yes! More orgasms can improve your physical, mental and emotional health! When you embrace your passionate self, you open the door to undiscovered desires.
Set aside some quiet time to connect with the intellectual beauty that you are, either alone or with your partner. Meditation is great to relieve stress while allowing you to experience a more intimate connection with your lover without penetration.
Image courtesy GenSpot
While lying in bed together, face each other and entwine your legs so the legs are resting scissor style with one another and allow his genitals to rest on her genitals. Relax, breathe deep, and focus on the space the two of you are sharing for a few moments.
Make your workout, part of foreplay
It’s the beginning of the New Year! Let your inhibitions down and like the athletic giant says, “Just Do It”, but do it together! Look at that body! See how hard your partner is working on developing strength and muscles? Yes, now imagine those ripped abs and muscular chest sweating all over your body. Shoot a few knowing glances at your partner. Let him know that after this workout, there will be a post workout at home (unless you can sneak a tryst in on the way). According to Dr. Laura Berman, a leading sex and relationship therapist on OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, make a resolution to stay open to the promise of sex even if you aren’t immediately in the mood. Kiss your partner, enjoy his touches, and let your mind delve into fantasy. Stay open to sex and tune into the pleasure of being touched and kissed. You will likely find that your body responds and that you are in the mood after all!
Have more sex, more often. Depending on your sex position, experts say 30 minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. (Ladies, you will burn more calories during sex when you are on top). It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Wow! Orgasm plus weight loss! Yeah, that is a workout by itself!
Spice things up
February is the shortest month to try something new! Think of the freakiest thing you’ve ever wanted to try and go for it! Try a new sex toy – Need a bit of inspiration? Check out Embracedesires.comto get started. Do you want to be restrained? Has the book series50 Shades of Grey left you wanting to channel your inner Anastasia? You must tell your partner what interests you! Say, “Spank Me”. Be bold and daring, either way, tell your partner. Write it down and leave it as a little love note or, if you can’t leave an actual note, send a text message. Life is too short. Be as uninhibited as you desire with your lover! And oh, have fun with it!
As an added bonus, having sex may be good for your heart. A 20-year-long British study shows that men who had sex twice or more a week were half as likely to have a fatal heart attack than men who had sex less than once a month.
Spend Time Getting to Know What YOU Like
As the old saying goes, “how are you going to love someone if you can’t love yourself” – ok so we paraphrased a bit. Really get to know the one person you’ve been with your entire life! Self-stimulation is a normal, healthy and a wonderful way to get in touch with your hot spots. Be sure to have clean hands and use a high quality lube when pleasuring yourself to make each stroke wonderful. Once you’ve become familiar with what you like, go for mutual masturbation. Simultaneously, stimulate each other. For a unique and erotic experience, stimulate each other without penetration and see who comes to climax first. Winner gets to dominate. For stimulation without risk of a fatigued hand, use vibrating toys just grab the batteries or make sure everything is clean and charged, for clitoral and g-spot stimulation. Men can benefit from the use of a onacup (male masturbation sleeve) with a vibrating bullet. If you don’t know how to love yourself, nobody else will…
What better way to reduce stress than making yourself happy. Natural endorphins released during self-stimulating pleasure can improve your overall mood by improved circulation and relieving stress.
Be Bold and Daring in the Bedroom
Let’s get to the bottom of anal sex and straight men. Many straight guys have preconceived notions about anal play. Mainly, if you derive pleasure from anal stimulation, you must somehow be gay. Guys, you can still have the raging heterosexuality of an NFL offensive line and explore your all of your erogenous zones. The anus is full of sensitive nerve tissue that, when stimulated can bring immense pleasure. Sexual orientation doesn’t change based on pleasure zones. We recommend that you start by experimenting with a well silicone – lubed finger. If you are worried about residue, wear sterile gloves, and then lube your finger with a quality silicone lube. When you and your partner are ready, then you can graduate to anal plugs. Anal plugs with a flare at the end are best if you want to avoid a trip to the ER…”uh, Doc, I was reading this blog a few hours ago and…, well you get the idea. We highly suggest the use of silicone-based lubricants for pleasure during anal sex. The silicone will not be absorbed into your skin as would water-based lubes thus reducing friction and increasing pleasure. Word to the wise – START OFF SLOW! Your ass isn’t going anywhere! If it hurts, take a break.
Having sex, whether anal or vaginal, boosts your immunity. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.
But, What Does That Mouth Do?
Woman Eating Lollipop image courtesy Getty Images
Give your partner mind-blowing pleasure throughout the year. Dedicate a time to perfecting your oral skills. Oral sex is one of the most delightful ways couples can give each other pleasure without saying a word. Many men are fans of blow jobs as it gives them intense sexual sensations and can bring him to a pretty intense orgasm. To make him go weak at the knees, when giving him a blow job linger on the parts of his anatomy that are particularly sensitive – the tip of his penis, his testicles and his perineum – the secret spot between the testicles and the anus. To really turn him on, include a quiet, yet powerful vibrating toy in your oral play. Then, blindfold him and tie him up. Gently place the toy under his scrotum (the balls) before you go down on him, then deep throat your man. Ladies, this make him moan with pleasure!
Some studies suggest that women love receiving oral sex also. We have to agree. In fact, 30 to 50 percent of women say they can’t reach an orgasm through intercourse alone. A woman’s clitoris is the most pleasure-sensitive part of her vagina and that’s where you’ll want to devote your attention. In fact, the tiny little clitoris has more sensory nerve endings than the entire penis! Stimulating your partner’s vulva, clitoris and entrance to the vagina using your tongue, lips and mouth will drive her wild, resulting in a super intense orgasm! So, relax and share the pleasure – both giving and receiving to experience a new dimension of sensuality…mmh, mmmh, good!
Why Not Improve Your Mood
Orgasms increase estrogen and endorphin levels which makes you feel good and naturally improves your mood.
In the 90s when “female ejaculation” became “a thing” I questioned the use of the word “female”. Why is it not just ejaculation? Why do we need the female modifier, as if it’s a lesser version of the “real thing”? People with penises ejaculate. People with vulvas ejaculate. People ejaculate as a sexual response to things that make them feel good. At the end of the day, that’s what is most important.
Sex Educator and Nurse-Midwife 
Three: Regardless of the content of the fluid, which does contain prostatic fluid from the paraurethral and Skene’s glands, it results from a sexual event. Calling it “bedwetting” or attempting to shame women because it contains urine is totally dismissive of the arousal that creates it. 
Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time 