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Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

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Sex education

Open Up – Who are you calling a FREAK? Sometimes, you need to set the record straight

relationship advice column, embrace desires
Share Your Thoughts – Open Up with Embracedesires.com

I wanted to get this off of my chest.  Why aren’t people truly comfortable with their sexuality?

In hushed whispers, and secret online groups, people will discuss how much of a “freak” they are, yet don’t own any sex toys.  Not to say that owning sex toys (or a sex toy company) automatically makes you a “freak” it just shows that you are open to alternative sexual adventures.  I love sex toys and all of the sensual accessories that compliment them, but I don’t consider myself to be a “freak”. That term really puts my panties in a bunch.  I’m sexually explorative.  As long as it doesn’t involve children, animals or illegal acts, I’ll try it at least once.  And very proud of that fact.  I have embraced my desire to explore sexually stimulating and pleasure enhancing activities.  Shit, I’m grown. Or so, I am told.

But when I meet someone new and they discover the products that I have in my stash, all of a sudden, I’m a freak.  Get over it already.  Thanks to the internet, most people I know that are sexually active do far more exploring than I have ever done.  Ever.  And then there are those who haven’t done a third of what I’ve done.

I have discovered that some cultures embrace the natural progression from innocence to knowledge when it comes to sexual experiences, whereas others simply do not.

I recall reading this Awesome book filled with many Great stories and one of the stories told was of this Man who said “let he who is without sin, cast the first stone” and surprisingly no stone was tossed.  Let this be a lesson.

Blow Job 101 – A Beginners Guide to Performing Like a Pro.

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People, people, people!  When you are trying to figure out how to give a man a blow job like a pro, there are some basic techniques that you want to follow. Too many people get caught up in the act of giving head that they forget that they can use the ENTIRE MOUTH: tongue, lips and teeth (only gently).  Become familiar with your man’s entire shaft.  Massage him completely with your tongue.  Hold his penis with a firm grip starting from the base and begin to really show it some attention.  Lick and kiss all over your man, tracing the full length of his manhood with your lips and tongue.

But that’s not all, there is more to expertly giving head than just holding your man in your mouth and sucking.  Discover some important how to tips on how to satisfy your man with an impressive oral sex performance.

Watch your attitude! It’s blow job basics to love a cheerful giver, so be generous and get into the spirit of giving when you’re about to give a man a blow job.

Offer to give head – Be warned:  You must be confident to do this.  Confidence is sexy.  Although this may seem simple enough to do, a lot of men say that they lose interest in a woman if they have to ask for oral pleasure.  So, step up to the mic and tell your man, “drop your pants and gimme 10!” (inches, that is). Besides, when you’re exceptional at your talents, show off! Who can turn down a great offer.

Watch your mouth! Most men don’t  like to have their sensitive skin scraped by sharp teeth when they are in the throes of passion.  Here’s a tip to prevent grinding against your partners magic stick.  Let your mouth fill with spit (yes the wetter, the better).
Really stretch your mouth open as if to make a big O with your lips. Take him inside of your mouth and suck him in. Use your cheek muscles to get the perfect suction and go down, down baby.

Take it to the top – The head of the penis is extremely sensitive.  Use your tongue to firmly caress the entire bulbous mound, then take him in and give him your best wet oral performance.  Unlike some women who prefer a gentle approach, men tend to prefer a more vigorous touch.

Bouncing Balls – Be easy on his balls (the nut sack or scrotum).  The testes are very sensitive.  Tenderly, squeeze his testicles either with your mouth or your hands by cupping them.  Gently, and we cannot stress this enough, gently massage his balls, but too much and you may find your aggressive attempt at seduction leaving your partner quivering in pain.

When you have the skill to delicately massage his balls in your mouth, remember to stroke the shaft.  Keep your well lubricated hands all over him. He’s going to be more receptive to you at this time.

Send a bing-bong to his ding dong.  Once you have him inside the depth of your mouth, send him a message via sound and vibration. Make some Noise!!!!  No, not any kind of noise.  Don’t worry about what your mother said about making noise while you have something in your mouth. Savor the flavor of your partner.  Make a delicious sound of slurping and humming and moaning while you are licking and sucking.  Wait, we need a break… Ok, what were we talking about?  Oh yeah, you want your partner into it, so you need to be into it as well.  A nice hum from your mouth while performing oral sex can simulate the gentle vibration he would get from a mini vibrator.

Go for a happy ending.  Put it in your mouth.  Not into swallowing your partner’s load? Play with his cum in your mouth.  Blow big semen filled bubbles.  Or let him release himself on you.  Embrace the milky shower your partner shared with you.
BONUS:  Rub it in.  Go on, rub his semen on you.  Using his semi erect penis, massage all of his creamy semen all over your face.  This bold seductive act shows him that you love every inch of him.  If you’re daring, you can even lightly tap your face if he is still leaking to get every last drop

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Tattoo Your Taboo – Being Freak-y is Fabulous

Why aren’t people really comfortable with their sexuality?
In hushed whispers, people will discuss how much of a “freak” they are, but don’t own any sex toys. Not to say that owning sex toys (or a sex toy company) automatically makes you a “freak”, it just shows that you are open to alternative sexual experiences. I love sex toys and all of the sensual accessories that compliment them, but I don’t consider myself to be a “freak”. That term really puts my panties in a bunch. When I was growing up, the only reference to freaks were either in the circus or other sideshow anomaly. I’m no circus performer, nor do I swallow deadly stainless steel swords. (Swallowing other large objects… well, that is another story).  I’m a lover of erotic pleasures. I’m sexually explorative, and very proud of it.  I have embraced my desire to explore sexually stimulating and pleasure enhancing activities. Shit, I’m grown. At least my age says that I am.

The one thing that I marvel at are people who act like they don’t indulge in sex or those people who act like sexcessories are taboo.

Go to any adult novelty store or party and you will find hordes of horny adult women, all of various ages, giggling like little girls over the extensive variety and massive dildos, the sensual oils (perhaps the fantasy of a pair of strong hands rubbing all over their body does wonders) and tasty edibles (are we really still grossed out by the taste of sperm?  Masque it already)

So you know what I say? ”Tattoo your Taboo!” (figuratively of course, however, whether you choose to actually do so is ENTIRELY up to you). Wear it like a badge of honor, own up to it. Let’s dress it up and take the sting out of the word and make it ours.
And let’s face it, circus freaks are called ”freaks” because they are out of the ordinary, uncommon, and entertaining. So when you’re considered ”freak-y” you’re extraordinary! No sexual encounter of any kind leaves a lasting impression if it has been the same old thing. But If you want to do away with the label altogether all you have to do is remember this one thing. The next time someone calls you a “Freak” simply tell them: “No… you’re just boring”.

Anal Sex Tips

You’ve been considering giving anal sex a try, but you weren’t sure if you will enjoy it.  We know the feeling.  We were there once before and wanted to share some of our experiences we’ve had with you. The most important thing you can do is
Relax!   The anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that can feel amazing when stimulated by a tongue, finger, penis, or toy.
Before engaging in any anal sex activity, you should be completely prepared – mentally and physically.  Foreplay before anal sex is not only fun, but downright necessary.
Here are our top ten tips for enjoying anal sex:

1.     Cleanliness is…Important
You want all of your intimate moments to be memorable, especially your anal sex experience.   You just don’t want to remember any brown residue after your partner withdraws from your anus.  This residue could be fecal matter and/or a combination of fecal matter and mucus membranes.  There isn’t much you can do to eliminate your mucus membranes, but you can control your bowels.    Prior to engaging in anal sex include a diet high in fiber to keep your colon clean.  Short on time?  Try using an anal douche or enema about an hour before intercourse.  This will allow any remaining fluid from the enema or douche to exit your body making your experience more comfortable.  Remember, you can jump into the shower afterward to refresh yourself and your partner.

2.     Keep it Wet
By wet, we mean your intestines.  Drink plenty of water.    This may sound silly but, when you don’t drink enough water, your body becomes dehydrated.  Water hydrates your intestines and helps elimination by producing softer stools.  If you are dehydrated you may become constipated.  Constipation = Uncomfortable sex.  No one wants sex to be uncomfortable.

3.     LUBE LUBE LUBE
We cannot stress this enough.  Use plenty of lube.  Unlike the vagina and the mouth, the anus  does not provide its own moisture.  We recommend using a silicone based lube.  Silicone lasts longer than water based lubes and does not dry out or get yucky.  If you are using a latex safe condom, and it says “lubricated”, for the purpose of anal sex, the lube isn’t enough, so always add more.

4. Foreplay
Before you and your partner get started, play with your anus.  Insert a well lubricated object (just make sure there are no jagged edges ie fingernails, damaged toys) inside of you or have your partner massage the rim of your anus.  When you are both ready, consider exploring safe analingus (oral sex of the anus) with your partner – you can cut open a condom and place it over the opening of the anus to protect yourself from bacteria normally found in the anus.

5.  Watch those signs!

The prospect of having anal sex is as exciting for the giver as well as the receiver.  Make sure your partner proceeds with caution! When you are ready, your anus will relax to let you know, your partner should slowly insert a toy or their penis inside of you.  A penis, even a toy, is a large object to insert inside of an anus, so be patient.  It may seem like it is taking forever to completely enter you, but the rewards are well worth it.  After anal foreplay and you are relaxed enough allow your partner to enter you partially giving your body time to adjust to the size and fit.  Breathe slowly until you are relaxed and you feel yourself opening up more.  When you do open more, allow your partner to go deeper.  If you need a break, have your partner withdraw partially, then attempt re-entry going deeper with each stroke.

6.    The Experience
If at any time during anal sex, you feel extreme pain or discomfort, STOP.  That is your body telling you that you are at risk for damage.  Let your partner know that you need a break.  Take some time, and when you are ready, add more lube and go for it.  embracedesires.com does not endorse desensitizing products for anal sex.

7.  Play Time
Another way of preparing yourself for anal sex is to stretch your muscles yourself.  You can use butt plugs.  This is a wonderful way to easily welcome your partner inside of you.

8. Move
Anal sex doesn’t have to be performed in one position.  It is crucial that you find the position that is most comfortable for you to receive your partner.  For anal sex beginners, try starting out flat on your stomach.  Once you have accepted your partner and the pleasure takes over, switch positions, you may be surprised to find your anal sex experience is more pleasurable in a position different from the one you started out with.

9.     Rest Room
If after enjoying anal sex, you feel like going to the bathroom, Go.  Just don’t strain.

10.     Back to basics
After you and your partner revel in the pleasure that is anal sex, you see some “leftovers”, don’t panic.  This is natural.  Just go clean yourself off, better yet, make it a prelude to more.  Shower together and clean each other off.

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