Improving Relationships, One Fucking Couple at a Time

1.     Cleanliness is…Important
You want all of your intimate moments to be memorable, especially your anal sex experience.   You just don’t want to remember any brown residue after your partner withdraws from your anus.  This residue could be fecal matter and/or a combination of fecal matter and mucus membranes.  There isn’t much you can do to eliminate your mucus membranes, but you can control your bowels.    Prior to engaging in anal sex include a diet high in fiber to keep your colon clean.  Short on time?  Try using an anal douche or enema about an hour before intercourse.  This will allow any remaining fluid from the enema or douche to exit your body making your experience more comfortable.  Remember, you can jump into the shower afterward to refresh yourself and your partner.

2.     Keep it Wet
By wet, we mean your intestines.  Drink plenty of water.    This may sound silly but, when you don’t drink enough water, your body becomes dehydrated.  Water hydrates your intestines and helps elimination by producing softer stools.  If you are dehydrated you may become constipated.  Constipation = Uncomfortable sex.  No one wants sex to be uncomfortable.

3.     LUBE LUBE LUBE
We cannot stress this enough.  Use plenty of lube.  Unlike the vagina and the mouth, the anus  does not provide its own moisture.  We recommend using a silicone based lube.  Silicone lasts longer than water based lubes and does not dry out or get yucky.  If you are using a latex safe condom, and it says “lubricated”, for the purpose of anal sex, the lube isn’t enough, so always add more.

4. Foreplay
Before you and your partner get started, play with your anus.  Insert a well lubricated object (just make sure there are no jagged edges ie fingernails, damaged toys) inside of you or have your partner massage the rim of your anus.  When you are both ready, consider exploring safe analingus (oral sex of the anus) with your partner – you can cut open a condom and place it over the opening of the anus to protect yourself from bacteria normally found in the anus.

5.  Watch those signs!

The prospect of having anal sex is as exciting for the giver as well as the receiver.  Make sure your partner proceeds with caution! When you are ready, your anus will relax to let you know, your partner should slowly insert a toy or their penis inside of you.  A penis, even a toy, is a large object to insert inside of an anus, so be patient.  It may seem like it is taking forever to completely enter you, but the rewards are well worth it.  After anal foreplay and you are relaxed enough allow your partner to enter you partially giving your body time to adjust to the size and fit.  Breathe slowly until you are relaxed and you feel yourself opening up more.  When you do open more, allow your partner to go deeper.  If you need a break, have your partner withdraw partially, then attempt re-entry going deeper with each stroke.

6.    The Experience
If at any time during anal sex, you feel extreme pain or discomfort, STOP.  That is your body telling you that you are at risk for damage.  Let your partner know that you need a break.  Take some time, and when you are ready, add more lube and go for it.  embracedesires.com does not endorse desensitizing products for anal sex.

7.  Play Time
Another way of preparing yourself for anal sex is to stretch your muscles yourself.  You can use butt plugs.  This is a wonderful way to easily welcome your partner inside of you.

8. Move
Anal sex doesn’t have to be performed in one position.  It is crucial that you find the position that is most comfortable for you to receive your partner.  For anal sex beginners, try starting out flat on your stomach.  Once you have accepted your partner and the pleasure takes over, switch positions, you may be surprised to find your anal sex experience is more pleasurable in a position different from the one you started out with.

9.     Rest Room
If after enjoying anal sex, you feel like going to the bathroom, Go.  Just don’t strain.

10.     Back to basics
After you and your partner revel in the pleasure that is anal sex, you see some “leftovers”, don’t panic.  This is natural.  Just go clean yourself off, better yet, make it a prelude to more.  Shower together and clean each other off.